


Make You Feel My Love

by caswatchesoveryou, sternchencas



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean playing guitar, DeanCas Reverse Bang 2018, Doctor!Castiel, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Festival, Firefighter!Dean, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Music, One Night Stands, Skinny Dipping, Slow Dancing, Smut, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, tattoed!cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2019-05-25 11:02:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 24,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14975798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caswatchesoveryou/pseuds/caswatchesoveryou, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sternchencas/pseuds/sternchencas
Summary: For the first time in his life, Dean has a ticket to the ‘Heaven on Earth Music Festival’ and after enjoying a weekend full of music, fast food, and freaky people, he takes a late night walk over the festival grounds to say goodbye. Little does he know that the weekend is far from over and that fate has a gift for him - a tall, dark, and tattooed gift.Castiel regrets many things in his life, but in the midst of a sea of tents, he makes a choice that leads fate to finally give him a break - a hot, sweet break, in need of an angel.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my entry for the DeanCas Reverse Bang 2018 on tumblr.
> 
> I was lucky to snatch up [cas-watches-over-you](http://cas-watches-over-you.tumblr.com)'s beautiful art. I absolutely adored that first pic and while I wrote, she kept drawing, so I kept writing. Heikü is the reason the fic turned out the way it did, by providing me with a playlist, important questions, and wonderful ideas. I couldn't have asked for a better partner for this and I had so much fun writing this fic. Go look at the awesome art and check out her blog because hot damn, her work is gorgeous!
> 
> Thank you [wargurl83](http://wargurl83.tumblr.com) for beta reading the shit out of the fic and giving some perfect suggestions!

“Cas, what the hell are you doing?” Meg asks. She walks up to him and leans against the locker next to Cas.

Cas closes his locker with a loud bang and looks at her, “I changed my clothes?”

“Not here, our office. You left your desk as if they fired you,” Meg says, a question hidden in there. 

“I just wanted everything to look orderly before leaving for the festival,” Cas explains. “I won’t be here for almost a week.”

“Festival?” Meg’s face lights up with understanding. “Oh, the heaven and hell thing. I forgot. Has it already been a year?”

“Yes, and it’s called ‘Heaven on Earth’ festival, not hell,” Cas says. He picks up his bag and leaves the changing room.

It’s a little bit like walking into hell. The fluorescent lights sting in his eyes, a phone is ringing at the end of the corridor, people’s voices drown each other out, and an underlying buzz accompanies everything, probably from the medical equipment. Cas used to love it. Now he hates it because it’s the last time he’ll ever get to experience it.

“The abbreviation is literally ‘H.o.E.,’” Meg announces from behind him, “that doesn’t sound like heaven to me. And it’s a place full of drunk people, high on good music and who knows what else, practically stacked on top of each other in tiny tents.”

Cas rolls his eyes and starts walking, not interested in Meg’s rant. She might be a colleague and a good friend, but sometimes Cas can’t deal with her, and especially not today. 

Either Meg doesn’t get the hint, or she doesn’t care since she makes her way past a group of nurses and catches up to walk with him. “Admit it,” she demands, “you go there every year because it’s a big orgy.”

Cas stops and stares down at her, unable to keep the annoyance out of his voice, “Yes, that’s it. It’s a constant stream of drugs, booze, and mindless fucking, so right up my ally.”

Meg stares up at Cas with big eyes, and he regrets opening his mouth. This was probably the most vulgar thing he’s said in his whole life. “I’m sorry, I’m just really tired,” he says, and they both step to the side to make way to let a hospital bed pass.

Cas follows it with his eyes, lost in thought until Meg elbows him in the side. “It’s okay. I like when you talk like that, makes my meat suit all gooey.” 

“I told you not to call it that,” Cas says and walks on, desperate to leave.

“We’re all just meat suits,” Meg teases, but when Cas doesn’t answer, her voice becomes softer. “You just did surgery, right? How was it?”

The question feels like a punch in the gut. Cas stares ahead. The doors to the main entrance are close. “Fine. It was fine,” Cas says. He tries to sound lighthearted and even smiles at Meg.

She smiles back and pats Cas’ shoulder. “Go and have some fun. And don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” She winks at him before she turns around and disappears into the crowded hallway.

Cas lets out a long sigh and looks around. He whispers a quiet goodbye to the place he had called home for five years and walks through the huge glass doors for the last time.

“Okay, you can turn around now,” Sam announces. 

When Dean does, there’s a beautiful looking pie in front of him and an envelope leaning against it. “What’s that for?” he asks, pushing it aside to get to the pie.

He gets a slap on the hand from Eileen, and she rolls her eyes at him. “It’s for your birthday,” she explains, her excitement making her bounce on her chair. “Open it!”

“Guys, my birthday was five months ago,” Dean says, still eyeing the pie.

Sam grabs the knife from the table and starts cutting it up. “I told you that we couldn’t get you the present back then, but now we did. So would you take a look before my fiancee falls off her chair.”

“Okay, okay, I’m not saying no to presents,” Dean says, and opens the envelope.

He would have expected a great variety of things: money, a funny card, movie tickets, some coupon or maybe a dinner invitation if he was lucky. But not this. “Guys, are you-” he stammers, “Are those real?”

“Of course they are,” Sam says, but Dean can’t believe it.

There are three items in the envelope. Two of them are actual tickets, but not for the movies. The background looks like somebody took an impressive shot of a colorful sunset and in the front in big letters and shaped like a rainbow is the name. ‘Heaven on Earth Music Festival.’ One ticket is for the general entry and the different concerts during the three days the festival runs while the other one reserves Dean a good spot on the camping grounds with a shower and other privileges like a certain amount of free food and drinks. The third item is a blue wristband, and it’s the thing that yanks him out of his stupor.

“Are you mad? That’s an all-inclusive pass! These are crazy expensive,” Dean blurts out. “I can’t keep these. You have to return them!”

Sam and Eileen share a look and Eileen gives Dean a big smile, obviously pleased with what she’s about to tell him. “All-inclusive tickets are tied to the name they were purchased under, and we already paid. No refunds.”

“But it’s this weekend, I can’t just leave,” Dean says, but Sam raises his hands to stop him before he can go into a rant.

“I already talked to Benny and the other guys down at the station. They’re happy we are forcing you to take a few vacation days.”

Dean thinks back to his last conversation with Benny, and now it makes way more sense that he didn’t give him any significant responsibilities for the next couple of days. Still, he can’t get used to the thought of leaving. “But what if-” he begins.

Eileen cuts him off with a sharp gesture. “Dean, you’re a firefighter, not a demigod. If there is a fire then there are enough people to take care of it, even without you,” she points out.

Dean grunts at her, but Sam gets in between them before he can respond. “Seriously man, you need a break. And how about a thank you?”

Finally, Dean’s brain catches on to what all of this means. For five years he has wanted to go to that damn festival but was too cheap to treat himself when he can listen to the same music at home. But now he holds the key to paradise in his hand. “This means I have access to everything. I can even get up to the side of the main stage. I might be able to talk to the bands, get some autographs,” he gushes. “Thank you so much!”

Dean jumps up from his chair to hug both Eileen and Sam and keeps staring at the tickets even when Sam pushes a slice of pie his way. “This is the best present ever,” Dean says, “some people say the HoE changes your life forever.”

“The what?” Eileen asks with furrowed brows, and Sam almost chokes on his pie laughing, but Dean doesn’t answer. He stares into the distance unfocused, not knowing how right he’s going to be.


	2. Chapter 2

Sunday comes too fast. Tomorrow Dean has to leave the festival grounds and go back home. 

He’s sad, but Dean will never forget the last three days. He met some lovely people, like Charlie and Jo, a cute couple who don’t live too far away from him and are planning on taking him on more concerts in the future. Or Garth, a tall and somewhat clumsy guy who hooked him up with lots of cheap band merch. 

Dean had talked to the guitarist of one of his favorite bands, which made him want to pick up his guitar again and practice more, and he has a whole stack of autographs and a ton of great pictures and videos of the concerts. Dean takes a shower and slips into his favorite Led Zeppelin shirt before leaving his tent. It’s past 2 am in the morning, and Dean wants to take in the unique atmosphere one last time. 

During the day everything has been loud and hot and crowded, with too many smells from the food carts and so many people that they became a blur of faces, hair, and voices, no longer individuals. Now it’s almost too quiet in comparison. The only sounds come from the people still sitting outside their tents, talking to each other about the concerts, comparing their autographs, and showing each other what keepsakes they bought.

Dean takes in the sea of tents in front of him, a collection of warm colors and dim lights, illuminated by the full moon above. The strong smell of food and beer has faded and is replaced by the pleasant odor of grass and cold, fresh air.

As Dean strolls past a few tents, another smell catches his attention. Fire. His whole body is on high alert, and he follows the scent and keeps a lookout for smoke to find the source. Dean walks past one of the smaller stages, and when he turns the corner, he can see the fire. It’s a lot less dangerous than he thought it would be. It’s not even a real campfire, just a bit of charcoal kept in a big coal pan with tiny flames flickering in the dark.

Still, Dean thinks about confronting whoever brought this safety hazard to a place with so many people nearby, but when he looks up to the person standing next to the fire, Dean is too mesmerized to move.

The guy is topless and has his back turned to Dean who can’t help but stare at him, or rather his tattoo. It’s a massive pair of wings, done in intricate detail, stretching between the strangers' shoulders and down along the muscles of his entire back until the tips of the lowest feathers disappear under the hem of his pants.

The light from the tiny fire showcases the stranger like a statue with his head turned so Dean can see his profile. He has a prominent jawline, covered with a light scruff, and his nose is a straight line, pointing at the full lips underneath. His dark hair seems combed in the back and grows messier in the front like he ran his fingers through it, and he has a skillfully crafted array of forget-me-nots tucked behind his ear.

Dean wonders if his skin would feel as much like smooth marble as it looks like, and only its tan convinces Dean that the stranger hasn’t been stolen out of a museum and placed here to mock him. And one other thing stands out. The joint in the stranger’s hand.

When he moves his arm to take a hit, Dean finally shakes off his trance and starts to walk away, but the stranger turns around, blows out the smoke and through the haze, he looks directly at Dean, pinning him in place. They stare at each other as if time is standing still, with the stranger's arm frozen in place. The only thing that moves is the ember at the tip of the joint and the smoke rising from it. 

Dean’s body heats up more and more the longer they look at each other, and his throat runs dry. He’s not sure if he wants to walk over there or disappear on the spot - anything to break the tension. Finally, the stranger moves again. He takes another hit while tilting his head and Dean watches with bizarre pleasure how the smoke floats out of the stranger's mouth, caressing his lips with the faintest of touches before drifting off and dispersing in the night air.

With Dean still not moving, the stranger raises both his hand and his eyebrows. The two fingers holding the joint jolt in a quick motion and even in his bewildered state Dean understands that it’s an invitation. Dean vaguely remembers how he and Benny once tried to roll and smoke a joint. It was a sad little thing with no real shape, and while they had managed to light it up, there was no way to smoke it properly. They gave up, and Dean never tried anything like it again.

Still, something about the stranger is so tempting to Dean that his feet move on their own. He walks over to the man, who hands him the joint without a word, and takes a hit. The motion grants him smoke in his eyes, a weird taste in his mouth, and a coughing fit.

The stranger takes back the joint and pats Dean’s back. “Are you okay?” he asks, and Dean contemplates if by leaving his tent at this hour he stepped into a fantasy land where the man of his dreams lures him in with fire and smoke and now sings to him with that deep, husky voice like a ridiculously tempting siren.

Dean only manages to lift his thumb as a signal that he’s okay while the stranger smiles at him, his hand still on Dean’s back. “Good shit, huh?” he teases, but Dean doesn’t listen to the words, rendered speechless by the smile. The words ‘Fuck, you are gorgeous’ run through his mind, and he hopes that he won’t spew them out loud.

“I’m sorry,” the stranger says, misunderstanding Dean’s weirded out impression, “that’s what they always say in movies.”

“Yeah, and there’s always that one guy,” Dean manages to say between coughs, “who’s never smoked before.”

He’s finally able to stay somewhat straight, and the stranger takes his hand away from Dean’s back but keeps looking at him. “You don’t smoke? Then why did you?”

Dean tries to smile and save face after completely ridiculing himself. “Because I’m an idiot.”

“Why don’t you sit down?” the stranger offers and Dean eyes the coal pan.

What he’s about to say won’t earn him any favors, but he can’t turn off who he is. “Next to your safety hazard?” he asks.

The stranger follows Dean’s gaze. “Oh, I’m sorry,” he says, truly worried, “does fire bother you?”

Dean huffs a laugh. “Dude, I’m a firefighter. And I’m sure there’s some regulation on keeping an open flame on festival grounds.”

“Oh,” the stranger says, his eyes growing big, “I’ve been with it all the time and kept it small. But I can kill it right now.”

He starts to turn towards the fire, but without thinking about it, Dean grabs his arm. “It’s fine,” he says, “it doesn’t seem that dangerous.”

The stranger’s eyes wander from Dean’s hand around his wrist up to Dean’s eyes, and his smile comes back. “And you’re here now,” he says, with so much gravel in his voice that it gives Dean goosebumps, “so I’m safe.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Dean blurts out, and he hates how much of his composure he loses. Sure, the guy in front of him is all kinds of hot, and he’s got the sex hair and a voice that can probably make Dean do things that he’s never even thought of before, but that’s no reason to turn into a bumbling idiot. 

He runs into burning buildings for a living. Having a conversation shouldn’t be this hard. Then again, it doesn’t help that the wings on the stranger’s back are not his only tattoo. There are more intriguing pieces of art inked all over his skin and Dean wishes he could discover them all without seeming like a creep.

Instead, Dean takes the earlier offer to sit down on the blanket in front of Cas’ tent and leans back to get more comfortable. The stranger walks over to a cooler and takes out an amber bottle. “Beer?” he offers, and Dean takes it.

“Thanks,” he says, taking a few eager sips.

The stranger takes a bottle for himself and sits down next to Dean who begins to understand why the guy is shirtless. In between the coal pan and the marvelous man next to him, Dean starts to sweat and takes another sip from his beer, asking himself what he’s even doing. He has no idea who the guy is, and although the crowd here is pretty civilized, you never know what kind of crazy you might find.

“I’m Cas,” the stranger says, startling Dean, “short for Castiel.”

He turns his head to look at Dean and raises his brows, asking a silent question. He gets the most intelligent answer: “I’m Dean. Short for Dean.”

While Dean silently hates himself, Cas chuckles. It’s a deep rumbling sound and lucky for Dean, he doesn’t make fun of him for being such an idiot but instead throws the burned down stump of his joint into the fire and lights a new one after getting it out of a little wooden box at the entrance to the tent.

Cas leans back and blows out the smoke and Dean stretches out his hand. “Let me try that again,” he says, reaching for the joint.

Cas raises one brow at him. “Are you sure?” 

“Hey, it’s the HoE, right? So what the hell,” Dean shrugs. 

Cas hands him the joint but asks, “The HoE?” 

“Heaven. On. Earth. HoE,” Dean explains. He inhales just slightly and grins at Cas through the smoke when he manages not to cough.

“I call it H.o.E.M.,” Cas says, “pronounced like ‘home’.”

“Very respectable,” Dean teases. When he tries to give the joint back, Cas’ fingers glide along Dean’s to get a grip on the blunt, and a jolt of electricity runs through Dean’s body.

He’s probably not even stoned yet and already feels things so much more intensely. It doesn’t help that Cas has no concept of personal space. He leans back again and props himself up on his elbows, his arm brushing up against Dean’s. It feels nice though. Cas’ warm skin against his own. Aside from hugging Sam or Eileen and a few friendly claps on the back from his colleagues at the station, Dean hasn’t had much physical contact recently. If he’s honest with himself, he’s right out touch starved.

So what if he leans into it a little bit. He even goes so far as to steal the joint back from Cas and he doesn’t try to keep their fingers from touching. Cas doesn’t seem to mind. He sips his beer and stares off into the distance until he finally reacts to what Dean said. “Respectable? I’m not … respectable.”

Dean sits up so he’s able to look Cas in the face and he’s curious why there’s such a dismissive undertone in Cas’ voice. “Then what are you? Some kinda bad boy?” he asks, trying to lighten the mood.

Cas raises a single brow at him again, and Dean wonders if the joint is beginning to affect him. Cas’ facial expressions shouldn’t make him all gooey inside, but here he is, moving closer to Cas. He looks so yummy with all that naked skin, illuminated by the fire and the moon alike, washing him in gold and silver. Dean also gets a good look at another one of Cas’ tattoos. There are two words in an intricate font spanning from one collarbone to the other. 

“Mem-” he begins to read but gets stuck. Some of the curls and lines elude his eyes, and Cas is wearing a necklace with a small silver cross that covers part of one letter. To help himself, Dean pushes it aside to trace the letters with his fingers. “Me...men-” he whispers to himself, but Cas’ skin is so soft and warm that he gets distracted again.

“Memento mori,” Cas says, his voice quiet and even more profound than before.

Dean keeps his hand on Cas’ chest but looks up into his eyes. They’re incredibly blue, and the firelight gives them a glow like Cas is a celestial being from another plane of existence. Dean can’t figure out if Cas expression means something good or bad. Dean keeps staring, only knowing one thing for sure: he’s in trouble.


	3. Chapter 3

Cas wonders what happened. Just minutes ago, he stood in front of his tent, being sad that the festival was over. Tomorrow he needs to go back to reality, a reality he hates and doesn’t know how to deal with. And then Dean walks into his life, completely out of the blue. Cas has no idea what compelled him to wave the stranger closer. Maybe it was the way Dean looked at him. It’s not like he doesn’t get such looks from other people, but they usually know what he is and show him respect for that. His job. 

But Dean saw him and who he really is. No suit, no tie, no lab coat. And now, because of some ludicrous twist of fate, Dean’s face is just inches away from his own. Cas can see every tiny freckle on Dean’s skin and his ridiculously long eyelashes. And his eyes. Oh his eyes. Cas doesn’t know if it’s just the effect of the joint, but Dean’s eyes are induced with tiny golden spots and greener than anything Cas has ever seen before. He wouldn’t have been able to look away, but his eyes are drawn to Dean’s lips. They look soft and pink, and they’re so, so close.

The old Cas wouldn’t have done anything about it. He might have used the festival in the past to be free of social restrictions and forget about ‘saving lives’ for a few days, but there were still many lines he didn’t cross. But that was when he had a way back. Now it’s just open road ahead. 

Cas lowers his head a tiny bit, just enough to indicate what he wants without forcing Dean to do something about it. They are barely an inch apart, and Dean licks his lips before closing his eyes, so Cas does the same. At first, nothing happens. Cas still feels how close Dean is, and he can hear him breathe, but seconds tick by and Cas fights the urge to go for it after all. Instead, the air seems to sizzle with the built up tension between them. It’s the quiet before the storm until Dean finally closes the gap between them.

The kiss is a bit sloppy since Dean has a hard time holding his position, but Cas enjoys it. It’s wet and messy and not perfect at all. Dean’s scruff rubs against his own, at some point Cas’ chin is in the way, and Dean has to let go for a moment to reposition his arm. When they kiss again, it’s much more enjoyable. Their lips press against each other until Dean tilts his head back and starts teasing Cas with his tongue. They find a nice rhythm, and they could have continued like that for quite some time if it wasn’t for Cas’ brain. 

The effects of the joint let him feel everything with much more intensity, but they also keep his brain from drifting off into a blissful nirvana. In his mind, Cas repeats the whole conversation with Dean and something is building up in him. It starts with a little growl in his stomach and gets more momentum when crawling up his chest. When it reaches his mouth it comes out as an uncontrollable giggle. 

Dean raises his brows and looks at Cas in wonder. “What?” Cas shakes his head, unable to answer, and Dean grins. “Come on, what is it?”

“You said,” Cas tries, but he has to get over another giggle fit before he can answer. “You called me a bad boy. Me.”

He barely manages to get the words out before he starts laughing again and Dean joins in, unable to keep it together. “You are, dude!” he protests with a weak voice.

“Hey, come on guys, trying to sleep over here!” another voice chimes in. 

Cas lifts his head to see who said it but only manages to bump into Dean. They both fall back, laughing again and Cas rolls to the side to pet Dean’s head. “I’m not, ask anybody,” he says, and Dean looks up at him, catching his breath.

When he has enough air to speak again, he slightly shakes his head while Cas’ fingers still brush over his forehead. “First time I saw you, you were standing shirtless next to a campfire at one of the biggest music festivals in the state, smoking a joint. And you’re fucking covered in tattoos. That’s badass in my book.”

Dean has such a serious expression that Cas nodes along, “I am badass.” They look at each other for a second before a smile tucks on Dean’s lips and another second later they’re back to laughing.

“Guys, please!” shouts the strange voice from the next tent.

“Maybe we should take a walk,” Cas suggests, and Dean nods. 

They get to their feet, Cas helping Dean up, and Dean closes the lid of the coal pan before they start walking. They only manage a few steps before Dean lifts his hand, the joint still tucked between his fingers, but not burning any longer. “Shit; totally forgot about this,” he announces.

“Some firefighter you are,” Cas teases, and they both topple over from laughing. 

“Okay, that’s it,” the voice grumbles and when they hear movement from inside the tent, Dean grabs Cas’ hand, and they start running.

Storming through a sea of tents at around 3 am is not a good idea. People jump or stumble out of their way, depending on their level of sobriety, and most of them shout vulgar things after them. Not that they care. They keep laughing and running until they reach the main stage. 

It’s the only time they can be around here since the bands and all their equipment are gone. They climb up the stairs and walk to the end of it so they can sit down, their feet dangling over the edge. Sitting there in the dark with only grassland in front of them, they are finally able to stop laughing and catch their breath. 

“Can you imagine what it must have been like to be up here just hours ago?” Dean asks, and Cas tries.

The vast area in front of them has been filled with people, singing along, shouting, jumping and clapping. The headlining band ended their gig with a ballad, and a sea of lights appeared. It was like a beautiful goodbye. Standing in between the other people has been an unforgettable memory for Cas. It must be so much more impressive from up here.

“Would you want that? Being up here?” he asks Dean.

“I thought about it,” Dean admits. “Like every other teenager out there. I even learned to play guitar.”

“But?”

Dean laughs, but it sounds bittersweet. “Yeah, there’s that little thing called reality.” He lets Cas give him an empathetic look before smiling for real. “Besides, I can’t sing for shit.”

Cas grins and bumps his shoulder against Dean’s. “I would love to hear you play, though.”

“Well,” Dean says, pulling out his phone, “if you promise not to make fun of me-”

He raises his eyebrows in question and Cas puts a hand over his heart. “I won’t laugh. Promise.”

Dean scrolls for a while, trying to find a recording, and soon after a simple guitar melody resonates in the night, a small concert just for the two of them. Cas is sure he knows the song and wants to ask Dean about it, but another sound drowns out the music. Dean’s growling stomach.

“Oh, are the munchies kicking in now?” Dean asks.

“The munchies?” Cas chuckles. “I’m not sure you even smoked enough for that, but I know where we can get food.”

Cas pushes himself off of the stage to jump down to the ground, and after putting the phone away, Dean follows him. He grabs Cas’ hand and looks back to the camping grounds. “Okay, lead the way.”

“It’s not far,” Cas says as they walk back through the labyrinth of tents. “I hope you like burgers.”

Dean beams at Cas, his eyes practically glowing, even in the dim light. “Love ‘em.” 

Since Cas comes to the festival every year, he knows most of the vendors and other people who are involved in keeping the festival running. One of them is Ash, who became Cas’ favorite person. He’s a roadie but also drives a huge trailer that simultaneously acts as a food truck. And then he also deals, just enough to give a few friends a nice buzz when they’re at the festival.

Cas knocks on the trailer door, and Ash opens a moment later, smoke coming out through the door and drifting up into the night sky. “Cas?” he asks, somewhat confused. “Don’t tell me you ran out already.”

“No, but my friend here got the munchies from your stuff, so I told him about your burgers,” Castiel explains, ignoring how Dean side-eyes him at the word ‘munchies.’ 

Ash laughs. “Well, come in then. Still got the grill running anyway.”

They don’t stay long since Ash already has a lot of company squeezed around his small table. They wolf down their burgers and a beer each while Ash and Dean discuss cars. Cas finally drags Dean away when the conversation gets heated. Cas knows how Ash can be when he’s sure about something, and Dean appears to be just as stubborn.

When they’re outside, Cas pats Dean’s shoulder. “I’m sure your car is way better.”

Dean side-eyes him again. “You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”

“So what?” Cas shrugs. “I like you.”

The words sprawl out of him and for a second he wishes he could take it back but Dean stares into the ground, a blushing mess, with the sweetest of smiles on his face and Cas is glad he said it. He takes Dean’s hand, and they aimlessly walk through the night, enjoying each other’s company.

After a while, they talk about the past few days and what concerts they watched, wondering if they maybe saw each other before but moved on.

“Depends,” Dean says. “Did you wear a shirt? Because those tattoos are-”

His sentence is cut off when a high pitched scream echoes through the night, followed by more shouts. Dean lets go of Cas’ hand and runs toward the sound immediately. Cas takes a second longer but runs after him. They reach an array of tents, forming a half circle, and the first thing Cas notices is the light. It’s too bright.

Cas comes to a halt next to Dean, and they both take in the scene. A small group of people stands to one side, all of them staring in shock at the other side of the circle. In the middle burns a small fireplace, but a few flames run in a straight line to a nearby tent, the entrance burning.

Dean shouts at the bystanders, “Is somebody in there?!”

Before they can answer, there’s another scream, and someone is pushing at the side of the tent from inside. Dean reaches into his pocket while rushing over to the tent. Cas realizes Dean must have a knife because seconds later he rips through the fabric on one side of the tent. Dean throws the blade to the ground, so it sticks in the earth and grabs one hook that keeps the tent in place. He rips it out of the ground and throws one part of the tent over the burning side to keep the flames in check before rushing inside.

The girl inside screams, so caught up in fear that she doesn't understand that Dean is trying to help her, but Dean has his arms around her to drag her outside. All of this happens in about a minute, and Cas’ brain finally catches up. He runs to them to hold the girl while Dean grabs a thick blanket from the ground to finally extinguish the flames for good while Cas keeps talking to the girl. When he repeats over and over that she’s safe, she calms down, and Cas keeps watching her, making sure she doesn’t go into shock. 

When Dean is sure that the fire is out, he starts giving orders to the people around them. They get the firefighters and medics who were standing by to keep an eye on the festival and soon the whole area is bustling with officials to take care of the situation. After Cas delivers the girl to the responsibility of the medics, Dean carefully drags him away from the commotion. 

They have to walk for a while because people are coming out of their tents to see what’s going on. Cas wonders the same. “Why didn’t you stay?” he asks Dean. “You’re a hero.”

Dean waves away the comment. “Because I know the drill. It doesn’t matter that I’m a firefighter. Here I’m just a civilian, so now I’d have to sit there with a blanket over my shoulders having someone check up on me while they ask me questions to write their incident report. My night would have been over.”

“And what are they going to do now?” 

“Have somebody else tell them what happened while I get to be here with you,” Dean smiles.

Cas has never believed much in romance or love at first sight but his heart misses a beat, and his cheeks grow warm. Still, he rolls his eyes at Dean. “I didn’t think you were such a sap.”

“It’s the H.o.E. I’m usually not one for hand-holding, but here we are.” Dean reaches for Cas’ hand, but as soon as they make contact, he quickly sucks in air through his teeth and snatches his hand away.

“What?”

Dean examines his hand with interest. “I think I burnt myself. Didn’t even notice it before.”

Cas has a ‘let me see’ on his lips but swallows it. He might be qualified to take a look at Dean’s injury, but then he’d have to explain why. For now, he doesn’t want Dean to know about his former profession. “Maybe we should head back to the medics,” he suggests instead.

“Nah, it’s not so bad. Let’s go to my tent; I think I have an ointment for burns in my first aid kit.” Dean uses his other hand to grab Cas’ and leads the way.

This time it’s Cas who side-eyes Dean. “You brought a first aid kit?”

“Sure. You didn’t?”

“No,” Cas says, leaving out the fact that he usually does but couldn’t bring himself to do it.

“See,” Dean grins, “and that’s why you’re the badass.” 

Cas rolls his eyes, but he remembers how Dean described him. To his family and friends, he’s always been the responsible one, the rule follower, the good guy. It didn’t do him any good. Maybe it’s time to change. Maybe it’s time to do whatever the hell he wants.


	4. Chapter 4

Dean carefully applies the ointment to the burned spot on the back of his hand while Cas hovers over him like a concerned mother. “Are you sure this is enough?”

“It’s fine,” Dean says, trying to hide how cute he finds it that Cas is so worried. “I’ve had way worse and took care of it with less.”

While putting the medicine back into the first aid kit, Dean still feels Cas’ eyes on him, and he’s not sure if it’s just concern. “Okay, what is it? You’re giving me that look.”

“What look?” Cas asks, watching him like a hawk.

“I don’t know; like you want to do something. But it’s fine; it’s just a tiny burn.”

Cas’ eyes fall to Dean’s hand. “What I want to do with you has nothing to do with your hand.”

Smooth as he is, Dean drops the first aid kit, and the contents scatter on the ground. Cas helps him to pick them back up, and Dean slowly gets his composure back. After all, it’s not the first time that somebody has hit on him. In fact, usually, he’s the one doing the flirting. “So then, what do you want to do?” he asks, trying his best to keep his voice under control.

Cas puts a bandage in Dean’s hand and dives into one corner of the tent to retrieve another one. “My tent is bigger than yours,” he says, completely serious.

It’s only when Dean starts laughing that he understands what he said and rolls his eyes. “What I’m trying to say is that you are a hero and my tent has more space than yours. So you can get a good night’s sleep and relax.”

“Sleep, huh?” Dean teases.

Castiel hands him the bandage and smiles. “Among other things. Maybe. I wouldn’t want to presume.”

The way he looks at Dean says something else and Dean has to admit that he doesn’t mind at all. Of course, he wanted to come to the festival for the music, but despite his already exciting job, he wouldn’t mind some excitement in his free time. This weekend should be something he’ll never forget, and the few hours with Cas were as good as the three days before. Why not go out with a bang?

“Fine,” Dean says, “let's hope that your little fireplace didn’t burn down your tent. I’d love to see it from inside.”

Cas crawls out of the tent and Dean uses the time to ogle his naked back and the shape of his ass before following Cas outside. They hold hands again, but it’s different than before. Nobody is leading the other anywhere; it’s more like the first step to more.

Dean thinks back to the kiss and begins to imagine what ‘more’ with Cas would be like when he stops dead in his tracks. Cas almost stumbles when Dean still holds his hand and turns around. “What is it?”

“Not to presume or anything, but while I did pack a first aid kit, I didn’t prepare for that,” Dean says, “and I don’t do it without.”

Cas’ mouth shapes into an “o”, showing that he didn’t prepare for such a situation either, but then his face lights up, and he nods to Dean to follow him. They make a little detour on the way to Cas’ tent, ending up before another trailer. Cas knocks and a voice answers in a sing-song from inside. “Who dares to interrupt my menage a-”

The door flies open, and a guy in a satiny bathrobe looks down at them. “What’s the French word for twelve?”

Dean focuses on the trailer rather than the stranger. While he does wear a bathrobe, he doesn’t wear anything underneath it, and Dean doesn’t want a picture of his junk stuck in his mind if he might get to see Cas’ soon.

“Douze,” Dean mumbles and after both Cas and the stranger give him a surprised look, Mr. Bathrobe focuses on Cas again.

“Sweetheart, you know how I feel about you, and yes, your friend here is exceptionally hot, but I’m not sure I can squeeze you in,” he says.

“Give me a second,” Cas says to Dean and climbs the stairs to the trailer, pushing the other man inside. It doesn’t take long for him to get back out again and he shows Dean a bottle of lube and a small box with condoms before putting both in his pockets.

“He has that to spare?” Dean asks. “I wouldn’t want to hinder his menage a whatever.”

Cas starts walking and shakes his head. “I met Balthazar the first time I came to the festival, and while he comes here every year, I don’t think he’s ever seen a single concert.”

“Then what does he do?”

“Currently, he has three girls in there,” Cas says, giving Dean a pointed look. “I think that answers your question.”

This time it’s Dean making the “o”, but it also brings other thoughts to his mind. “He called you sweetheart,” he says, trying to ease the way to another question.

“I’ve never slept with him or anybody else here,” Cas says, not beating around the bush, and when Dean watches the ground after being called out like that, Cas takes his hand and smiles. “And he calls everybody sweetheart. I’m sure you can come up with something better.”

Dean hates how satisfied he is with the fact that Cas hasn’t slept with Bathrobe guy. After all, it’s none of his business. Still, he likes to think that this night is as unique to Cas as it is to him.

They keep walking and think of possible pet names, one more horrible than the other. It makes them laugh all the way, this time without the influence of drugs, and Dean tries to remember when he laughed so much. It must have been quite some time ago.

When they reach Cas’ tent, Dean can’t help to check the coal pan, but it’s almost cool now, unable to set anything on fire. He follows Cas into the tent and it’s not only bigger but also more comfortable than Dean’s. He even has a thin mattress covering the ground with blankets on top of it and three sleeping bags put together to make one big fluffy sheet to crawl under.

After taking off his shoes, Dean sprawls out on top of the little nest, putting his hands behind his head like a pillow, and watches Cas as he zips up the tent and gets rid of his shoes before crawling over to Dean. He lies down on his stomach and watches him, “Comfortable?”

“I have to admit, your tent is better than mine. But it’s missing a fireplace inside.”

Cas rolls his eyes. “I’m sorry, I can’t offer champaign either. How about music?”

Dean takes out his phone and hands it to Cas. He usually doesn’t do that, even Sam has to beg him to use it, but something about Cas makes him do things he normally wouldn’t even consider. Cas looks through his music. “Oh, you have more recordings of yourself.”

Dean props himself up on his elbows. “Yeah, but we can’t listen to those.”

“Why not?”

“I mainly record myself to spot mistakes. I can’t relax when I have to listen to that.”

“I see,” Cas says, “I’ll find something else.”

He pushes himself up to sit opposite of Dean and looks down while he keeps tapping at the small screen. That gives Dean plenty of time to study Cas’ hands. They seem strong, but his fingers are long and the way he handles the phone make Dean think that Cas is used to holding even more delicate things.

Just a moment later Cas starts a song with a smile and puts the phone down. “I like this one.”

Dean listens for a while before raising his eyebrows at Cas. “Not exactly what we listen to here.”

“It’s on your phone,” Cas deadpans and Dean just shrugs and mouths the words of the song.

_Step out into the wild,_   
_There’s a beautiful storm in your eyes..._

The line is actually pretty fitting for Cas and Dean feels his skin growing hot under Cas’ gaze. “You’re looking at me like you did when I treated that burn. Why?”

Cas tears his eyes away and watches the phone instead. “I was thinking about how you put out the fire. I’m honestly very sorry for the girl, but the way you handled the situation was-”

He pauses, finally looking at Dean again who sits up in anticipation. “Was what?”

“Hot,” Cas says, but Dean never heard anybody say it like this. It comes out like a breathy sigh, but the t crushes against Cas’ teeth like a sizzling flame that makes Dean want to extinguish this one as well.

Before he can even think about it, he pushes himself to his knees and crawls over to Cas to kiss him. He takes his time though, wanting to avoid another sloppy first try. They are both sitting on their knees, watching each other and Dean feels like being back in summer camp.

When Dean leans in, Cas does the same so their lips meet in the middle. It’s warm and familiar, but also electrifying, and the music finds its way back to Dean.

 

_And we take another step into the truly unknown,_   
_Don’t know why but it’s somewhere that we have to go,_   
_And it’s dangerously wonderful,_   
_So come on, come on, come on, come on..._

Spurred on by the music, Dean cups Cas’ face with his hands and deepens the kiss, ready to go past the making-out-like-teenagers stage. Cas must think the same. He grabs the hem of Dean’s shirt and pulls it up. Dean only lets go of Cas so he can pull it over his head before diving back into another kiss.

Their lips barely part after this and Cas grabs Dean’s hips to draw him closer. Their chests are pressed flush against each other and Dean enjoys the feeling of naked, warm skin while running his hands over Cas’ shoulders and down his back. He doesn’t have to see it to know that he’s tracing the wings and Dean runs his fingers to the front and pushes Cas away to undo his pants, but his eyes are drawn to another tattoo.

Entwined flowers cover Cas’ hip bones from both sides, some of the petals and leaves disappearing under the waistband of his jeans, and Dean wonders how far down they go. The first time he saw Cas, he was so caught up with the wings that he didn’t even notice how covered in tattoos Cas actually is. They just seem so much like a natural part of his skin.

There are more flowers on both his forearms and leaves going in a circle around his upper arms. Dean reads the word ‘faith’ on the inside of Cas’ arm and wants to ask him about it, but then his eyes are drawn to Cas’ other arm. In between some of the flowers is one little bee and Dean can’t help but stare at it. “Is that a bee?”

Cas doesn’t answer right away. It seems he’s not interested in any interruptions. Since Dean stopped, Cas is busy undoing Dean’s fly while slowly kissing along his jaw.

“Bees are important for the environment and our survival,” Cas says while his lips brush over Dean’s skin, down to his collarbone. “And they’re cute.”

Dean laughs and Cas looks up to him in wonder. “What?”

“I have a hard-on for a guy who thinks bees are cute.”

Cas tugs at Dean’s jeans like he has to check if that’s true but smiles. “Have you ever seen how they collect pollen and it sticks to their legs and when they get too greedy, they have trouble flying away?”

Dean has never thought so much about bees, but at this moment, Cas is cute as hell. Dean pushes him over and kisses him again. He feels like they have to cancel out the adorableness with lots of hot sex, so he’s the one kissing and nibbling along Cas’ neck now, finding a little cross tattoo there in the process. He wanders lower and under the words on Cas’ chest, there’s a snake on the left side, curled around a pole. “What does that one mean?” Dean asks.

“Nothing really,” Cas shrugs, “I just like snakes.” Suddenly Cas lifts his hand and his fingers run over Dean’s chest. “How am I seeing this just now? What does it mean?”

After seeing Cas’ ink, Dean wasn’t too keen on pointing out his own. He has a pentagram with stylized flames, but most of the time he even forgets that he has it. “It’s supposed to be protection from the flames. My brother Sam and I both got it before we started working as firefighters.”

“I like it,” Cas smiles. “And I thought you’d be all blank. Any more surprises?”

“No, that’s it. How about you?” Dean asks and his fingers trail down Cas’ stomach and back to his pants. “Anything under there I should know about?”

Cas just raises his eyebrows and Dean pulls down his pants. He stops again at Cas feet. They are also covered in flower tattoos and those are even colored in. “Wow, that’s pretty.” He crawls back up and smiles at Cas. “You look like a human meadow. I just want to lie down on you and sleep.”

 

“You can do that later,” Cas says. He reaches around Dean with both arms and legs and turns them both around so he’s back on top, but at that moment, Dean’s back makes a horrible sound. “What was that?” Cas asks horrified.

“My back, but nothing serious,” Dean assures him. “I slept on the ground for two days after all.”

“Turn around,” Cas demands and gives him enough room to do so. When Dean complies, Cas pulls down Dean’s jeans and when he’s settled down, Cas massages Dean’s back.

“You do know what you’re doing, right?” Dean asks.

Cas doesn’t answer. He runs his hands down Dean’s back and finds a spot that is particularly tight. When he first digs in, Dean feels like dying, but seconds later Dean can feel how the tight muscles let loose. Cas works his way up and down Dean’s back, and soon, Dean is a drooling mess.

“I have to sit on you,” Cas announces a while later and Dean grunts to give his okay. Cas crawls on top of him and soon Cas’ crotch is pressed against Dean’s ass. Dean does his best to focus on Cas’ hands as they massage his shoulders and neck, but his attention always wanders back down south and he can’t help but move.

“Dean, stop it,” Cas huffs and keeps working on Dean’s muscles, but Dean can feel how hard Cas is against him and pushes up his ass even more. Cas draws back and Dean pushes against him again. They play this game for a few minutes until Cas has enough. “That’s it.”

He leans forward so his chest is pressed against Dean’s back and he grinds against Dean’s ass while he kisses from Dean’s shoulders to his neck and teases Dean’s ear with his tongue. “Is that what you wanted?”

“Something like that,” Dean admits. He meant to tease Cas, but forgot that his cock is trapped between the ground and his body. With every push from Cas, he’s pressed into the mattress and soon he buries his head in the sleeping bag to stifle a moan.

“You alright there?” Cas asks right against his ear, his breath ghosting over Dean’s skin, and Dean can hear the smile in his voice.

Dean lifts his head and brings his arms forward, acting like he couldn’t be more comfortable. “I’m fine. You?”

Cas answers by getting up and tugging at Dean’s underwear. Dean lifts his hips up from the ground so Cas can pull it off, but when he tries to lie down again, Cas takes hold of his hips to keep him in that position. This way, Dean has his ass up in the air, perfectly presented to Cas while he’s too far away from the ground to grind against anything.

“Stay like this,” Cas says and his voice carries so much authority that Dean keeps perfectly still and doesn’t dare to even breathe.

Dean can hear how Cas reaches for his pants and the distinct click when he opens the bottle of lube. Only now does Dean notice the chill air. Exposed like he is, it ghosts over him unhindered and he has to keep himself from shivering. A few seconds later, Cas is back behind him and although Cas’ hand is warm when he caresses Dean’s back, goosebumps erupt all over his skin and he lets out a sigh.

Cas’ hand follows the curve of his ass and when he reaches Dean’s leg, he slightly presses against it so Dean spreads his legs further apart. The anticipation makes Dean’s cock twitch and he wishes Cas would touch him, but Cas is occupied elsewhere. His hand disappears for a moment and when it comes back, Dean feels the lube on Cas fingers.

He tries to warm it up, but one drop is still cold and when it hits Dean’s skin, his goosebumps intensify until Cas runs his fingers over that spot. He carefully teases Dean’s hole and massages his perineum. Dean can feel his knees go weak and Cas must have noticed. “Good?” he asks, his voice giving away that he already knows the answer and Dean just grunts and pushes back against Cas’ fingers.

While Dean buries his head in the sleeping bag again, Cas keeps his pace, slowly opening him up and it gets harder and harder for Dean to muffle his moans and sighs with the fabric. When Cas’ fingers easily slide in and out of him, Dean reaches back with one hand and grabs Cas’ wrist. “More, Cas. Now!”

Cas gently asks for Dean to let go of him so he can get rid of his underwear and put on one of the condoms and Dean fights the urge to touch himself. Instead, he arches his back and spreads his legs to give Cas as much access as possible, but Cas stops and just stares at him. “You’re so beautiful, I could just watch you like this all night,” Cas marvels with awe in his voice.

Dean feels a blush creeping onto his face at the praise, but he still hisses at Cas, “I’d prefer that you fuck me instead.”

Cas chuckles and takes his position behind Dean. “With pleasure.”

All of Dean’s senses are on high alert and his body is tenser than before. He feels Cas’ cock pressing against him and enjoys the slight burn when Cas slowly pushes inside. Just like before, Cas takes his sweet time, but instead of starving Dean of all touch, his hands seem to be everywhere.

He runs them along Dean’s back, over his ass, and down his legs before moving up again and while one hand comes to rest on the small of Dean’s back, the other one reaches around to cup Dean’s balls. While Cas keeps caressing him, Dean sets the rhythm and pushes back against Cas, not at all interested in hiding his moans anymore.

They start slow, but Dean enjoys himself too much to wait. His movements become more eager and he only stops when Cas takes hold of his hips again. “Dean, wait.” Dean grunts, not happy about the interruption, but Cas slides out of him and taps his ass. “Turn around.”

Dean lies down on his back and has the chance to see Cas in all his glory for the first time. In the twilight, his tattoos seem like living pictures and Cas like a forest god of some kind. Like in the song, there’s a storm raging in his eyes. He moves on top of Dean and pushes inside of him again. When they are face to face, he looks at Dean, a soft smile playing around his lips. “My apologies for the interruption, but I wanted to see you.”

Something warm pools inside of Dean’s stomach and it has nothing to do with arousal. He reaches up and carefully plucks the forget-me-nots out of Cas’ hair. He runs them over Cas’ cheek before carefully setting them aside. When Cas raises his eyebrows at him in question, Dean explains, “There will be a moment, probably in a few minutes, where I’m going to bury my hands right there and I don’t want to destroy the flowers.”

Cas smiles. “Looking forward to it.”

He starts moving again and they kiss while getting back into an enjoyable rhythm. Dean not only runs his fingers through Cas’ hair, but also interlaces them behind Cas’ neck to draw him closer for more kisses. His nails dig into the skin on Cas’ back and soon, Dean is holding on to Cas’ ass to push him even deeper inside.

Cas’ composure crumbles when Dean spurs him on to go harder and he bites his lip and looks up like he needs to pray for the strength to be silent. Their tent neighbor already got mad when they were laughing. Neither of them wants to find out what he might think about what they’re doing now.

When Dean gets even more restless, Cas takes his hand and guides it down to Dean’s cock. He strokes himself and doesn’t care for anymore teasing or waiting. So close to the finish line, he enjoys Cas with all of his senses and it doesn’t take long for him to come while Cas kisses him to stifle his moans.

Dean takes a few deep breaths and runs his hands through Cas’ hair again while Cas buries his head against Dean’s neck. Dean can feel his hot breath against his skin and surrounds Cas with his legs to be as close as possible. This way it doesn’t take Cas very long to follow Dean’s example. His body goes tense and they hold onto each other while Cas comes.

 

Afterward, it’s almost too silent in the tent. They listen to each other’s breathing and Dean enjoys the full weight of Cas on top of him. Cas lifts his head after a while and they share some lazy kisses before he gets up to get tissues. They make due to get themselves cleaned up and after Cas lies down, Dean snuggles up to him and they almost fully disappear under the sleeping bags.

Cas runs his fingers through Dean’s hair and down his neck in a loop and Dean traces the snake on Cas’ chest before finally breaking the silence. “Are you religious?” he asks.

“It’s a little late to save yourself for marriage, Dean.”

“You have the cross tattoo, ‘faith’ written on your arm, and massive wings on your back,” Dean says, ignoring Cas’ snark. “And you’re wearing this.” Dean lifts up the little cross that Cas is wearing on a necklace.

“My parents were religious, but I don’t think you need to be to believe in certain things. My sister Hannah gave me the necklace and she has one, too. We’re not close in a way that we constantly do things together, but we’d be there for each other if we had to,” Cas explains. “And faith is something you should have even if you’re not religious. It’s what keeps you going.”

“I understand that,” Dean says. He thinks about his own life, how lucky he is to be close to his brother and how much faith they have whenever they go into a burning building. Lost in thought, his hand wanders down Cas’ arm and he plays with Cas’ fingers and smiles when he catches sight of the bee again. “Still doesn’t explain the wings.”

Cas grunts and Dean turns and props himself up on his forearms to watch Cas. “What? You look embarrassed.”

“It is embarrassing,” Cas sighs and Dean grins.

“Well now you have to tell me.”

Cas covers his face under one arm and rattles out the story as quickly as possible. “I helped somebody and they called me a guardian angel. Then I came here and still drunk on the compliment, among other things, I got the tattoo. By the time I sobered up, there was too much of it done already, so I had it finished and now I try to own up to it.”

Dean wants to know what earned Cas the title of guardian angel, but he has a feeling that Cas would have told him if he wanted to, so Dean doesn’t ask. Instead, he crawls on top of Cas. “So, angel,” he teases, “how long till your mojo comes back and we can have another go?”

Cas draws him in for a long kiss and Dean feels movement between his legs. When they part, Dean smiles. “How about we make the guy next door really mad this time?”

Cas smiles as well and the storm is back in his eyes. “I’m in.”


	5. Chapter 5

Cas wakes up to the sound of people walking past their tent and talking to each other. Even closer is a rustling noise, and Cas can see a shape in front of the entrance, trying to open the tent from outside. Cas carefully frees his arm from under Dean’s head, who rolls over with a grunt, and crawls towards the shape to open the zipper.

As soon as it’s open, somebody pokes his head inside. “Morning, Cassie! I come bearing gifts.”

Cas holds his hand up to signal Gabriel to lower his voice and whispers, “Whatever it is, it has to wait.”

Although Cas tries his best to block Dean from view, Gabriel spots the shape under the sleeping bag. “Oh, you sly fox, giving me shit about hooking up at a festival, and then you have a party in here.”

“Gabriel, come back later,” Cas urges again, his voice strained. It’s way too early to deal with his friend. He tends to go overboard with everything and even when he means well; he doesn't find the right tone.

“Would if I could, friend-o, but this is a one time offer,” Gabriel says. “Now or never, take it or leave it.”

Dean moves behind them, so Cas signals Gabriel to get back and follows him outside. “What offer? he asks.

Gabriel grins, proud of himself. “You asked for a job; I got you a job. One of the bands is short on roadies, and I was able to hook us up, but you have to pack your shit and get going right now.”

“I have to take down Ash’s tent,” Cas says. It’s an excuse to spend more time with the person inside the tent, but Gabriel shakes his head.

“Already taken care of, Ash will do it himself. So let’s get out of here.”

Gabriel moves his weight from one leg to the other like he needs to pee and Cas knows he’s out of time. “Fine, I’ll get my things and meet you. Where?”

“Stage 3,” Gabriel says, already walking away. “And don’t take too long loverboy.”

Cas crawls back into the tent. It’s not like he has much to pack. Since he knows so many of the people around here, he has access to pretty much everything he needs. Cas puts on a fresh shirt and stuffs everything he needs into his bag without bothering to fold it up or sort it somehow. 

Then he sits and watches Dean sleep. He knows it’s creepy and that he shouldn’t do it, but Dean is adorable when he sleeps, and Cas wants a mental picture to take with him on the road.

For a moment Cas contemplates waking Dean up but decides against it. What good would it do them? They both knew it was a one-time thing. Being crazy in a festival, nothing more.

Cas rummages around in his bag for a piece of paper, but all he has is the ticket from the festival. He uses an almost dried out pen to scribble a few lines of goodbye and places the note at the entrance to the tent. 

When he walks away, he ignores the feeling of loss, telling himself that it’s only the after festival sadness, and tries his best to focus on the future. After all, he’s on his way to a new life, and Dean deserves to go back to his own without Cas there to mess it up.


	6. Chapter 6

“Guess you’re married now,” Dean says, looking at his brother with fondness.

Sam is beaming at him. “Guess I am.”

Dean shakes his head. “Jesus, you look like you’re about to explode from happiness. We better get you on the dance floor.”

The last word lowers Sam’s enthusiasm a little bit, and he looks down at his feet. “I hope I don’t mess up.”

“We’ve been practicing for weeks. You’re going to be fine,” Dean assures him. “I’ll go check on the band, make sure that they don’t mess up your first dance.”

“The band is fine, Dean. Since that’s the one thing Eileen and you let me take care of, I took my job seriously. They’re perfect for us.”

“If you say so,” Dean says. He didn’t like that Sam picked the band instead of him, but since it’s Sam’s wedding he couldn’t argue with that. “I’ll just let them know that they can start.”

“Great,” Sam says, back to smiling like an idiot, and Dean hugs him. He regrets it a moment later when his moose of a brother squeezes the air out of him, so he claps Sam’s back to get free and gives him a thumbs up before he leaves. “Remember, 1-2-3. No big deal.”

Dean walks into the decorated ballroom and takes a quick look around to make sure that everything is in order. It’s not a big wedding since Dean and Sam only have each other when it comes to family, but Sam invited their co-workers from the station and Eileen brought her family and some friends. 

While everybody is settling down, Dean walks to the small stage to make sure that the band is ready. The drums and keyboard are already occupied, and the two guitarists talk to each other while the bass player watches the guests. They all wear black suits over white dress shirts, and closest to Dean is another guy, crouching in front of an amplifier, adjusting the controls. There are white wings embroidered in the back of his suit jacket, framing the name of the band, ‘Shurley’s Angels.’ 

Dean carefully taps the guy’s shoulder so he won’t startle him. “Excuse me, we’re ready for the first dance, so could you-”

When the man gets up and turns around, the words get stuck in Dean’s throat. In front of him stands his hookup from two years ago. Cas. They stare at each other and Dean has no idea what to say. Pictures rush through Dean’s mind, so quickly that he can’t keep up. 

The first time he saw Cas standing there like a statue, them smoking together, him exploring Cas’ tattoo, their first kiss, them running through the night and laughing, the incident with the fire, and them ending up in Cas’ tent together. Just a few days ago he thought about the festival and the night he can’t forget. But that also reminds him how he woke up with Cas gone, and the only things left were the forget-me-nots Dean took out of Cas’ hair and a scribbled message on the back of a ticket.

Thank you for an unforgettable adventure. Enjoy life and don’t let the flames get you.

To this day, Dean is conflicted about the note. While they seem like words to live by and are well meant, he always keeps staring at the space left on the ticket. There could have been a phone number, but Cas chose to disappear without a chance to get in contact again, and that’s a message of its own, isn’t it?

“Cas?” Dean finally blurts out, and Cas looks as stunned as Dean.

“Hello Dean,” he manages to say. “What are you doing here?”

“I need to be here. It’s the Winchester-Leahy wedding,” Dean explains, but when Cas only frowns at him, he remembers that they never exchanged their last names, so he adds, “I’m Dean Winchester.”

“Oh,” Cas says, his mouth forming the vowel and even this reminds Dean of their night together. Cas takes Dean’s hand to shake it. “Congratulations,” he says with a smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes, and his voice sounds strained. “So where’s your partner?”

“Thank you,” Dean says, forcing himself to let go of Cas’ hand, but then his brain catches on to Cas’ words, and he hurries to explain what he meant. “My brother, he got married, Sam Winchester,” Dean stumbles. “I’m the best man. That’s why I need to be here.”

Cas’ face lights up with understanding, but he doesn’t get to say anything when one of the guitarists walks over to them. “I’m not one to break up a party, but there are a bride and groom waiting in the door. Can we go Cassie, or do you want to give the hot guy your number?”

“I have to-” Cas says, gesturing to the band, and Dean nods.

“Sure, yeah, me too,” Dean blurts, immediately hating himself for it, and he rushes off to his seat before he can embarrass himself even more.

The music starts playing, and Dean tries his best to focus on Sam and Eileen. It’s their big day, and they should be the most important people in the room. It’s just that they already found each other, and while Dean is eternally happy for them, it’s no piece of cake to be around a lovestruck couple every day when your own love life is more or less nonexistent. 

The closest Dean came to something like it was with Cas, and although he keeps telling himself that it was just a hookup, Dean can’t keep himself from looking over at Cas again and again. He’s not playing in the band, so he’s standing to the side of the stage, almost hidden behind a pillar, the white roses that are wrapped around it blocking him from view.

Dean remembers the first time he saw Cas, the memory so vivid in his mind that he’s transported back to the night of the festival, his eyes seeing lights that aren’t there, and his body feeling the cold air. A shiver runs down Dean’s spine, and he only comes back to reality when the people around him clap.

Dean joins in, and while Eileen starts dancing with her father, Sam comes over to Dean, a huge grin plastered on his face. “Are you ready for this?”

“Yeah, it’s time I show you how it’s done,” Dean teases, and while they’re dancing, more people join the dance floor. 

Dean doesn’t want to, but he catches himself throwing looks over at Cas whenever possible. He’s still next to the stage, framed by flowers, illuminated by the soft light around the stage, and so damn pretty in his suit. On the one hand, it’s weird to see him dressed for a change, but on the other hand, he seems born for the attire. The fabric hugs him in all the right places, and the only thing out of place is his unruly hair.

Dean wishes he could run his hands through it again, right after getting Cas out of that suit. None of his tattoos are visible now, and it’s like looking at an impostor, but at the same time, Dean relishes in the feeling that aside from the band, he’s the only one who knows what’s hidden underneath those layers. 

He tries not to think about it though. At the moment, Dean has to dance his way through some of Eileen’s relatives, and a naked Cas in his mind does not bode well with a chatty Aunt Maud. Lucky for Dean, the dance is cut short when the food gets served, and they have to take their places.

During the meal, Dean is so engaged in a conversation that he forgets Cas for a few solid minutes, at least until someone compliments Sam on choosing a great band. Immediately, Dean’s eyes are drawn back to the stage, searching for Cas. He left his old spot, standing closer to the stage now, and he’s no longer alone. 

Two women are framing him from both sides, one of them touching his arm, right where his ‘faith’ tattoo is hidden underneath. Something hot shoots through Dean’s body and pools in his stomach, boiling. It makes him want to get up and walk over there, but Dean forces himself to take part in the conversation instead. After all, they had their fun at the festival and Dean has no claim on Cas. This wedding is going to end, and they’ll be back to what they had before. Nothing.


	7. Chapter 7

Cas does his usual gig. He makes sure that the guys play what they are supposed to, takes care of their equipment, takes requests from the guests, and does his best to convince two of the bride’s friends that he has to work and doesn’t have time to dance. Lucky for him, an older woman, who one of the younger one’s announces as ‘Oh no, Maud,’ comes over and ushers them away. 

Although Cas promised himself not to do it, he scans the room, looking for Dean. He’s still sitting at one of the tables, talking to his brother and their friends. Cas sighs and walks over to Gabriel to tell him what to play next before heading to the bar and getting something to drink for the band.

After that, he does everything in his power to focus on his work, but he already set up the props that Gabriel uses to play games with the wedding guests, and as long as the band is playing, there’s not much for him to do besides looking around.

Cas’ gaze wanders back to Dean’s table where Dean is talking to a pretty woman with long, dark hair. They are both smiling, and when the woman touches his arm, Cas tears his eyes away and stares at the band, waiting for them to finish so that he can give Gabe the next song request.

He misses his chance though since he’s too occupied with the burning sensation in his chest and the memories of the night with Dean. Cas takes a deep breath, trying to will it away, and after he tells Gabe about the requests, Cas gets himself a drink. He downs half of it in one go and has to keep himself from drinking the rest right away. 

When Cas is on his way back, his eyes fall on Dean again. He’s still sitting at the table, staring into his glass with empty eyes, and the woman from before is nowhere in sight. This time Cas doesn’t even think about it, and let his feet carry him over to Dean.

“Hello Dean,” he says, wishing he would have thought of more to say.

Dean looks up and smiles that smile that has haunted Cas’ dreams over the last two years. “Hiya Cas,” Dean looks past him to the band before pulling out one of the chairs next to him. “You got a minute to sit down?”

Warmth replaces the burning feeling in Cas’ chest, and he drops onto the chair and smiles back at Dean. “I think they can handle a few minutes without me.”

“Great,” Dean says, and they keep looking at each other for what feels like a century until Dean clears his throat. “So, um, crazy coincidence, right?”

“Yes, small world,” Cas offers, putting down his glass, and he’s about to follow it up with more small talk, but now, so close to Dean and staring into those incredible eyes, he can’t bring himself to glaze over what he did. “Listen, I want to apologize about how I just vanished at the festival. Gabriel, the guitarist you just met, he offered me a job, and I had to leave right away.”

“It’s fine,” Dean says, making a dismissive gesture. “I’m not good with goodbyes either. And you left that note, so that’s something.”

“I guess,” Cas shrugs, and they both take a sip of their drinks.

“Now, you gonna tell me what job it was and how you ended up here or do we have to smoke something first?” Dean jokes and Cas feels like a weight is lifting from his shoulders. He worried that Dean might be angry at him, but now it seems like they’re almost back where they left off.

“You remember ‘Taming The Demon’?” Cas asks.

“Do I remember them? They are just one of my favorite bands.”

“They were short on roadies for their tour and don't ask me how, but Gabe convinced them to take us on.”

Dean’s eyes grow big. “Are you kidding me? You went on tour with TTD? That’s awesome.”

Cas nods. “For about a year. Then we were out of a job again, but we met Chuck along the way.” He gestures toward the band. “Chuck Shurley, he’s our singer, and he came up with the idea to form the band.”

“Ah, I get it, ‘Shurley’s Angels,’” Dean says. “And you have Bathrobe dude and Ash. I didn’t even recognize them before. It’s weird seeing you all in suits. Who’s the other guy?” 

“That’s Michael; he’s friends with the band who opened for TTD. Before we started the band and had to dress up, I’ve never seen him with a shirt on. He’s a little intense, but he’s good at what he does.”

Dean leans back in his chair. “On tour with TTD and now a band. Quite the career you have going on.”

Something deep inside of Cas begins to shift like a door just opened. He can name a ton of people who were impressed with his career as a doctor. He never thought that anybody would feel that way about him being a roadie.

“It was fun, but I’m glad we’re staying more local now with the band,” Cas explains. “I can use a break from being on the road.”

“So you live around here now?” Dean asks, and Cas isn’t sure if he sounds hopeful or if that’s just what Cas wants to hear.

“I’m currently sleeping in Ash’s trailer.”

Dean laughs. “If you ever want actual walls around you, I have a very comfy couch.”

He smiles at Cas who has a hard time not to fall off his chair. It’s probably just one of those throwaway sentences people use to be nice, and he shouldn’t consider it as a real offer, but he still can’t help the butterflies in his stomach. He tries to get over it by changing the topic. “How about you; still saving people?”

Dean shrugs. “Nothing major, just cats in trees and old ladies who sometimes forget that they left the oven on.”

“Doesn’t mean you’re not a hero,” Cas insists. “But I’m glad you’re still in one piece.”

“Me too.”

They both take another sip of their drinks and Cas thinks about something else to say, even if it’s just a stupid joke. But Dean beats him to it. He puts his glass down with purpose and turns to Cas, for once without a smile or a wink. “I’m happy about this. Us,” Dean says, but then he pauses like he needs to prepare for what he’s about to say next. “I’ve been to the H.o.E.M. the last two years and I looked for you. Guess I know now why I didn’t see you there.”

The butterflies in Cas’ stomach take flight, and his fingers squeeze his glass like he’s about to break it. But since Dean found the courage to be honest, Cas should do the same. “I couldn’t go, but I thought about it.”

Dean nods. “Yeah well, you were on tour.” He takes another sip from his glass, and Cas feels like he’s trying to give him a way out, but he doesn’t want one.

“I regretted the note. I should have just left my number.”

“You could have,” Dean says, still focused on his glass.

Cas takes a pen out of his suit pocket and a card that they usually give out to promote the band. He scribbles his number on it and slides it over to Dean. “I should have,” Cas insists. “So here, just in case.”

Dean takes the card and eyes the pen when Cas puts it back in his pocket. “Learning from your mistakes, huh?”

Cas laughs. “Yes, I only had this dried up thing at the festival. It was a pain to write that note.”

“I appreciate it,” Dean says with a smile, and he puts the card in his front pocket.

They take another moment to look at each other when Cas remembers that he still has a job to do. “I should get back. Those guys tend to get out of control when I’m not there, and I need to tell them the last song requests.”

“Requests?”

“You have one?” Cas asks, eager to let the others play something for Dean.

“I’ll think about it and let you know.” 

Dean smiles and Cas nods before forcing himself away from him. He’d love nothing more than to stay, especially now that he knows that Dean might be interested in him, but Cas still has to work, and he’s not sure what he’d do if he stayed with Dean. After all, the last time they ended up under the same sleeping bag. 

So he goes back to the band, just in time to keep Michael from strangling Gabriel, and tries his best to do his job without gawking at Dean every two seconds. It goes well until Gabriel introduces his fun games and aside from the happy couple, the best man is one of his favorite targets. 

Cas has to help Gabe, so he ends up putting a blindfold on Dean, and he can’t keep himself from running his fingers down Dean’s neck. There’s also a chance that he might linger just a little bit too long when he leads Dean to several boxes to put his hand in. After the first one, a bowl of jello, Dean is already so done with the game that Cas ends up whispering to him what’s in the boxes. Dean puts up an excellent show with just enough surprise and disgust and before he leaves he whispers a ‘thank you’ and smiles at Cas.

The program goes on with the cake cutting, and more music and Cas is busy with keeping Ash sober enough to play when there’s a tap on his back. “Hey, angel.”

Cas spins around, and Dean is beaming at him. He’s probably a little tipsy, too. “Dean. What can I do for you?”

“Make you feel my love,” Dean says, rendering Cas speechless, at least until he explains what he means. “You know, the Bob Dylan song. That’s my request.”

“Of course. I’ll give it to the band, but there are a few more before you, so it’ll take a little time.”

“No problem. I just thought of it,” Dean says, and Cas feels like he’s not sure if he should leave or not. “It’s a good song.”

“It is,” Cas agrees, and Dean smiles at him before taking a critical look at the band.

“Listen, if they can spare you for a moment- I mean, I know you have to work,” Dean rambles, “but if you need a break, I’m over there, stuffing my face with cake. And you could join if you want. It’s not pie, but it has those layers, and, well, it’s not bad.”

He shuts his mouth with force like he’s keeping himself from talking and Cas wishes he could kiss him stupid right here and now because he’s that cute. Instead, he just nods. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“Good,” Dean says with a wink and points finger guns at Cas before he disappears between the other guests. 

Cas manages to wait for two more songs, but then he throws caution to the wind. He fucked up when he just left Dean at the festival, and by some miracle, he gets a second chance. He won’t blow it just because his band members need constant supervision. 

He gets himself another drink before going back to Dean who lost his jacket and looks right out tasty wearing just the dress shirt. He rolled up his sleeves, and the top buttons are open, revealing a nice patch of skin. Cas takes a deep breath before sitting down next to Dean again. “Hey,” he whispers.

Dean’s eyes grow big, and he immediately jumps to his feet. “You stay here; I’ll get you some cake.” He takes off and is back a second later, putting a plate in front of Cas. “It’s so good. Eileen and I picked it. Sam would have chosen some vegan monstrosity, and we couldn’t have that.”

“Your brother is vegan?” Cas asks before digging into the cake and with that one question Dean starts a half hour long conversation. He tells Cas about Sam’s eating habits and how he’s into all that healthy stuff, how he met Eileen, and how Dean had to coach him to talk to her. By the time Cas finishes his cake, he feels like he just watched a romcom, but Dean looks so happy that he doesn’t have the heart to interrupt him, even for a question.

Dean only stops talking when a small, lively woman appears next to them. “Dean,” she warbles, her voice almost painfully high, “don’t forget the booth, we wouldn’t want the wedding to end without pictures of the best man, wouldn’t we?”

She walks over to the next table, and Cas looks after her while Dean sighs. “That’s Becky, the photographer’s assistant. I’ve been avoiding her the whole evening.” 

“Why?”

“They put a photo booth out in the hall. The guests can get their pictures right away and later the photographer puts together an album,” Dean explains.

“But that’s a nice idea,” Cas says.

Dean rolls his eyes. “I know, and I don’t want to fuck up the wedding, but I hate to get my picture taken.” Suddenly Dean’s face lights up. “Hey, you wanna take them with me?”

“Dean, I’m not a guest,” Cas reminds him. “I already felt weird about eating the cake. I don’t think your brother wants a memory of me.”

“But he sure wants one of me. And you could be my plus one.” Dean grins, happy about his sudden idea. “Do you want to be my plus one?”

Cas does his best to hide how a whole flock of butterflies takes flight in his stomach and shrugs. “I guess I could be your plus one. So, yes.”

“Awesome,” Dean says and a second later he takes Cas’ hand and drags him out into the hall to the photo booth.

They have to wait till the person inside is finished, and then they make sure nobody else is around before they attempt to squeeze themselves inside. It’s already a tight fit for one person; these things are not built for two grown men. And although Cas insists to at least get Dean to the front, he ends up on Dean’s lap. “Don’t look so grumpy,” Dean teases him and Cas huffs.

“I look like I’m your ventriloquist doll.”

Dean laughs and puts his hand under Cas’ shirt to run it up his back. “Oh Dean, thank you, this is so much fun,” Dean says from behind his lips, trying hard not to move them and dropping his voice as low as possible.

“I don’t sound like that,” Cas protests but can’t hide his smile.

“I know,” Dean says, and he leans in to whisper in Cas’ ear. “You sound way sexier.”

“Dean-” Cas starts, but then the camera flashes and Dean grins at him.

“Oh, that’s going to be a good one. You look so bashful.”

Cas grunts and goes on the attack. He kisses Dean on the cheek, and when Dean’s eyes grow wide from surprise, the camera flashes again. They stare at each other for a moment before they both start laughing, which ends up as the next picture.

Dean puts his arm around Cas and nods at the camera. “Quickly, we need at least one good picture.”

Cas leans in and their cheeks touch, both of them smiling. The camera flashes one more time, and afterward, harsh sounds are coming out of the booth while it works on printing their pictures. They stumble outside, almost running into Maud who gives them a dirty look.

They step aside to let her pass, and when she’s out of sight, Cas turns to Dean. “I think she dislikes me, but I can’t say why.”

“Maybe she saw your tattoo,” Dean points out, and Cas looks down on himself. He’s in a suit and buttoned up as far as possible, always trying to hide the tattoos at weddings, precisely because of people who dislike them. Dean reaches out, and his fingertips run over the little cross on Cas’ neck, leaving goosebumps in their wake. “This one.”

“Fuck,” Cas curses, “I forgot to cover it.”

Dean laughs. “She wouldn’t care about that language either, but who cares? And I like it.”

Cas remembers the last time Dean touched him there, and his mind takes off, thinking about how Dean also kissed that spot, and many others after that. “Does she know about yours?” he asks, trying to stay in the present.

“Oh yeah,” Dean grins, “not happy about that either. But Eileen threatened to uninvite her if she said something about it.” He shrugs, obviously done with the topic and instead picks up the photos the booth finally spit out. “Not too shabby.”

Cas looks at them and feels his heart skip a beat. Just like Dean, he doesn’t like to get his picture taken, but he seems so comfortable and happy. He seems like Dean’s actual plus one and not just some random hookup who stumbled back into his life a few hours ago. 

“You take them. I can get a copy from the photographer,” Dean says and tucks the pictures into Cas breast pocket before taking his hand and leading him along the corridor. “Next up, something more fun.”

They go outside and walk past the parked cars over to a line of trees where Dean stops. “I want to show you something, but we have to go through those trees.”

Just now Cas realizes that he didn’t hesitate to go into the woods with a guy he only met once before, but after all, it’s Dean. “I trust you,” Cas says, and Dean tries to hide his blush by disappearing between the trees.

Cas follows him, and it doesn’t take long for them to get to their destination. They step out of the trees and find themselves in front of a small lake. It’s completely round, looking like a huge puddle, and Cas can easily see to the other side. A little to the side is a dock, reaching almost halfway into the lake where the moonlight glistens on the water. Dean leads him to the end of the dock and takes off his shoes. “Nice, isn’t it?”

“Yes, it is. How did you find this?”

Dean starts unbuttoning his shirt, his eyes looking over the water to the treeline on the other side. “I got bored when we prepared for the rehearsal dinner and took a walk.”

When he drops his shirt, and his hands go down to his belt, Cas’ brain kicks into gear but doesn’t come up with a reasonable explanation for his behavior. “Dean, what are you doing?”

“You mean, what are we doing?” Dean says, dropping his belt and gesturing to Cas. “Don’t tell me you never heard of skinny dipping.”

“You want to swim in there?” Cas asks, and Dean pushes down his pants with a smile.

“I want to swim in there naked. And I wouldn’t mind if you join me.”

He winks at Cas who can’t help but enjoy the sight of Dean’s almost naked body. He’s walking to the end of the dock, peeking down at the water and the moonlight surrounds him like a glow coming from within. Dean looks over his shoulder at Cas. “You’re coming?”

Cas isn’t sure if he wants to jump naked into a lake in the middle of the night, but saying no to Dean somehow isn’t an option. “Of course,” he says and begins to undress. 

His clothes pile up next to Dean’s, and Dean pulls down his underwear and jumps into the lake with a triumphant shout. Cas is still in his boxer shorts when he walks to the end of the dock, and a few seconds later, Dean’s head breaches the surface. He spits out water and runs his hands through his hair before looking up to Cas. “Come in; it’s awesome.”

Cas sighs and ignores Dean’s whistle when he drops his underwear. Without thinking, he jumps and regrets it seconds later. The water is anything but awesome. It’s cold, and tiny needles seem to pinch him all over his body. Cas strikes his hair out of his face and looks for Dean. “You lied,” he states, and Dean laughs.

“I know, I’m sorry,” he says, shaking. “It’s so cold; I’m freezing my balls off. Let’s get out of here.”

They swim back to the dock and pull themselves up, before falling on their clothes. “Why would you let me jump in when you know how cold it was?” Cas asks.

“To make you suffer with me,” Dean admits, but then he crawls up to Cas, coming dangerously close. “I could try to warm you up if you want.”

“That’s the least you can do,” Cas grunts, but he doesn’t sound angry at all.

Dean comes even closer and presses his body against Cas’. “Better?” he asks, and when Cas only shrugs, he leans in and kisses him. 

Cas can’t believe how familiar it feels. They’ve only been together the one night, but now they melt against each other, and every touch from Dean is just right, every kiss heats him up way more than he needs after their cold bath, and every whispered word heightens his want. Dean asks for permission for all the things he wants to do to him, and soon he covers Cas’ body with kisses and small bites. They forget where they are, completely lost in each other. 

At least until the alarm of one of the cars in the nearby parking lot blares so loudly in the silence of the night that they can hear it all the way through the trees. They both sit up straight and stare in the direction of the sound like startled deer. Even after somebody turned off the alarm, they stay like this for another minute and only relax when everything stays quiet. 

“Maybe we should go back. I’m sure they already miss you in there,” Cas says.

Dean grunts, “I don’t wanna.” He leans over to give Cas another kiss and sighs. “But you’re right.”

They try to sort out their clothes and get dressed, and when they head back, Dean reaches for Cas’ hand. “I’m sorry. I thought this would turn out as this spontaneous, romantic thing and we only froze our nuts off.”

“I think it was nice,” Cas assures him and can’t keep himself from smiling because Dean wanted to do something romantic with him. 

Dean smiles back and squeezes his hand for a moment before letting go to open the door. They head back to the ballroom, and as soon as they’re through the door, a tall guy with long hair makes a beeline for them. 

“Dean, where were you?” he says, and Cas realizes that this must be Sam. Now he knows why Gabriel couldn’t shut up about the tall, handsome guy who hired them.

“Photobooth,” Dean says, “Becky kept bugging me.”

“Oh, alright. It’s just that-” Sam stops himself, only now taking notice of Cas. “Is something wrong with the band?”

Cas wants to answer, suddenly acutely aware that he’s not exactly a plus one, no matter what Dean says, but Dean cuts him off. “Nah, the band is fine. But funny thing, Cas here and I, we know each other. Remember the Heaven on Earth Festival Eileen and you gave me tickets for? We met there.”

Sam takes a moment to process the information, but then he smiles. “Oh wow, what a coincidence. Small world.”

“Right? But what did you want?” Dean asks, probably trying to get Sam’s attention away from Cas and past whatever he wanted from him in the first place.

“Oh, um, Maud was looking for you.”

Dean rolls his eyes. “Don’t make me talk to her again.”

Sam shakes his head. “I’m not. Eileen even threatened to kick her out if she keeps bugging you. We only invited her because she’s family, but she has to watch herself.”

“What does she even want with me?” Dean grunts.

“I think she wants to set you up with Lisa.”

Something pierces Cas’ chest, and he takes a step away from Dean without thinking. “I should check on the band.”

“No, Cas wait-” Dean grabs Cas’ wrist and holds on to him.

“I have to,” Cas insists, and Sam looks back and forth between the two of them until Dean lets go.

“Fine. I’ll catch up with you in a second.”

He turns back to Sam, but Cas doesn’t hear what they’re saying. He’s too busy hating himself. Dean just said that he wanted to do something romantic for him and they made out on the dock. Why does he still get so jealous only because someone mentions the name of a woman?

When Cas reaches the band, he can’t even distract himself because for once they get along just fine and are still busy playing the requests. Cas takes his position a few steps away from the stage and keeps brooding over who Lisa is. Probably the pretty woman who talked to Dean earlier. Cas begins to despise Maud as well and only looks up when the band starts playing Dean’s request. Cas watches them without seeing them at all. Instead, he keeps thinking about sitting on the stage with Dean back at the festival.

“May I ask for this dance?” There’s a voice making its way through his stupor, and he’s about to decline as he did before with the girls, but then he looks into familiar green eyes. 

Cas takes Dean’s hand and follows him to the dance floor. Dean puts a hand around his waist, so Cas places his hand on Dean’s shoulder, and Dean peeks down at it. “We can switch if you want.”

“No, it’s fine,” Cas says and can’t resist teasing Dean a little. “You know I like when you lead.”

Dean laughs, “Are you calling me a power bottom?” Cas only replies with a smile, happy that Dean is dancing with him and not with Lisa. When he doesn’t answer, Dean comes closer and drops his voice. “Wanna hear something funny?”

“Yes?” Cas asks intrigued because Dean doesn’t sound like he’s about to tell him a joke. 

“You’re wearing my shirt.”

“What?” Cas stops for a moment to look down at himself, but Dean keeps him moving.

“We must have switched them on the docks,” Dean explains. “I felt that something was off, but I thought it was because I wasn’t dry yet.”

“Oh,” is all Cas can say, suddenly aware how wet his hair is, and Dean smiles.

“Yes, Sam noticed,” Dean chuckles. “It seems we’re pretty obvious. But I’m telling you so you can relax. You’re my plus one for the night, and maybe more nights after that. Maybe. I wouldn’t want to presume.”

His tone gets serious at the end, and he looks intensely at Cas, his eyes asking if Cas feels the same. For the first time, Cas notices the song in the background and Chuck singing.

“The storms are raging on the rolling sea,  
And on the highway of regret  
The winds of change are blowing wild and free,  
You ain't seen nothing like me yet.”

Cas puts both his arms around Dean’s neck, getting even more comfortable, and he keeps gazing into Dean’s eyes. ‘I’d like that very much.”


	8. Chapter 8

Cas turns around on the couch for what feels like the thousands time. He loves Dean’s couch, and usually, he falls asleep in seconds, but Dean went to work around noon, and he’s still not back although it’s almost midnight, leaving Cas more worried that he likes to admit.

They parted ways again after the wedding and Cas stayed at Ash’s for another two weeks. In that time they had what you’d probably call dates. They had dinner, went to the movies, or stayed in and binged some episodes of Dr. Sexy. There’s also been a lot of flirting, and Cas feels like they’re on the edge to something more, but so far nothing happened. 

Cas took Dean up on the offer to sleep on his couch and has done so for the past two weeks, but he’s more like a roommate than anything else. A nervous one who can’t sleep because he keeps picturing all the ways Dean could get hurt.

When the key turns in the lock, Cas flies up from the couch and heads for the corridor. Dean sneaks inside, probably trying not to wake him, so Cas turns on the light to make it easier for Dean. Only then he realizes how desperate he looks. He tries to lean against the doorframe as casually as possible. “Hey, you’re finally home.”

“I’m sorry,” Dean says, “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“I couldn’t sleep. I was too worried,” Cas says, forgetting about being casual. He looks at the floor. “But obviously you know what you’re doing.”

Dean doesn’t say anything, and when Cas looks back up, he nods at him. “One of mine?”

Cas is only wearing boxers and a shirt with an AC/DC print that he borrowed from Dean’s closet. It’s not a perfect fit, but it smells like all of Dean’s laundry, and Cas feels way too comfortable in it. “I hope you don’t mind. I spilled coffee on mine, and it’s still wet.”

“No, it’s fine,” Dean says, “it suits you.”

Only now it occurs to Cas that Dean isn’t wearing the same clothes from this afternoon. It’s not even regular clothes but his firefighter uniform. Cas has heard people talk about the appeal of men in uniform a lot of times, but it always made him think of tea drinking ladies who take a glance at some Navy boys on leave. Not tonight though.

He can’t stop staring at Dean. He’s not wearing his jacket anymore but holds it in his hand, and the suspenders hang loosely along his legs over the bulky pants. His once white shirt looks more grey and black and is only tucked in at one side. All in all, Dean looks like a cat that got dragged through a dirty puddle, but the only thing Cas can think about is how he wants to jump his bones right here in the corridor. “I can’t believe I never saw you in the uniform.”

“I usually change at the station, but tonight I just wanted to get home as quickly as possible,” Dean explains.

“What happened?” Cas asks, not sure if he really cares or if he just wants to keep staring at Dean.

Dean hangs up his jacket and runs his hands through his hair until they rest behind his neck and he stretches his back like he’s about to pose for a sexy firefighter calendar. “There was a fire in a warehouse with offices on the second floor. Most of them got away just fine, only some small scratches and mild smoke poisoning, but it was a bitch to get them out.”

“And how are you?” Cas asks, telling himself that he can stop acting like a concerned boyfriend tomorrow.

As if by command, Dean yawns so intense that his jaw cracks. “I need a shower and a bed.”

“Sure, good night.”

“Night,” Dean says with a tired smile, and he shuffles along the corridor. 

Cas heads back to the couch and listens to the water of the shower. The sound soothes him, and he almost falls asleep, but he can hear Dean walking around, and he seems to get something from the kitchen before heading back to his room. He didn’t take long though, so Cas doesn’t think it was food. But Dean could still be hungry. Cas gets back up and heads to the kitchen to make a snack for Dean and soon after he knocks on Dean’s door. “Dean? I made a small snack, maybe you want to eat something before you go to bed?”

“I am- Maybe, um, yes-” Dean mumbles and Cas hopes he didn’t wake him up.

He opens the door and immediately begins an apology, “I don’t have your cooking skills, so it’s just PB&J, but-” Cas falls quiet when his eyes fall on Dean. He looks awfully guilty, and the corner of something red peeks out from under Dean’s blanket. The first aid kit he keeps in the kitchen. The worry crawls back into Cas. “Are you hurt?”

“It’s just a scratch,” Dean says, “I didn’t want to make a big deal of it.”

Cas puts down the plate on Dean’s nightstand and focuses on him. “Show me.” Dean turns around and Cas grunts. There’s a long cut across Dean’s back, deep enough that it’s still bleeding. “Just a scratch. Why wouldn’t you take care of this at the station?”

“Told you, I went home right away. I didn’t even notice until after I showered,” Dean explains.

“Give me that,” Cas demands and points at the first aid kit. He walks over to the bed and sits down behind Dean. “You don’t know how you got this?”

While Cas prepares what he needs, Dean seems to think about it. “I think I cut myself on one of the shelves in the warehouse,” he says and shrugs his shoulders.

“Is your tetanus shot up to date?” Cas asks.

“Yeah, they keep an eye on that at the station.”

“Good,” Cas says and gets to work. He tries his best not to hurt Dean, and he doesn’t hear any complaints. Instead, Dean’s body slumps over like it takes him until now to realize that he doesn’t have to have his guard up anymore. 

After bandaging the cut, Cas takes an overall look at Dean and cleans some more minor scratches that Dean usually tends to ignore since he’s got tiny scars that clearly nobody took care of. “You should really take more care with those. No need to risk an infection.”

Dean shrugs. “I had worse.” He cranks his neck to look at the bandage and raises his brows. “Wow, that looks neat. Very professional.”

Cas’ hands stop for a second, and he hopes that Dean doesn’t notice how he’s trying to compose himself. “I stitched up the others while we were on tour. You wouldn’t believe how much ways there are to hurt yourself when transporting all that equipment.”

“I can imagine,” Dean says. 

That should be the end of it, and Cas should leave, but instead, he switches position to sit in front of Dean. From here, he takes care of a long scratch that reaches all the way from Dean’s wrist to his elbow, and he takes his sweet time to apply a cooling gel on a tiny burn on Dean’s arm.

Dean closes his eyes, and it might be a good idea to let him sleep, but Cas can’t stop thinking about Dean’s past. How often did he come home, banged up like this, and fell into bed without any concern for himself, ready to do it all over again the next day while nobody took care of him?

Cas knows he’s navigating dangerous waters now, but it’s frustrating how they dance around each other. He lifts his hand and brushes Dean’s hair aside to check another scratch, but it’s an old one. Still, he keeps his hand there. When Dean opens his eyes, Cas moves his hand but only to gently caress Dean’s face, drawing a line from his temple down to his jaw.

Dean doesn’t shy away from the touch and stares at Cas intently. Maybe he understands what Cas wants him to know. It’s time to make a decision. “Thank you,” Dean says, his voice calm and laced with gratitude. He takes Cas’ hand and pulls it away from his face and for a sad little second Cas thinks that this is the end, but Dean keeps Cas’ hand in his lap and plays with his finger. “I like this. I like hanging out. I like-” He swallows the last word, but Cas could have sworn it was a ‘you.’ 

He takes his hand back from Dean, but only to put it on his shoulder, and nudges him to move. “Lie down and close your eyes,” he says, and when Dean does, Cas crawls up to him, determined not to shy away again. He runs his hands through Dean’s hair before tracing the lines of Dean’s face with gentle fingers. 

When Cas begins to massage his neck, Dean stiffens for a moment, but then all tension leaves his body, and with every touch from Cas, Dean seems to sink deeper into the mattress, his breathing evening out. 

Cas runs his hands down Dean’s shoulders and arms and over his chest and stomach, most of the time just touching him rather than massaging his muscles. Dean stretches and turns under his hands like a lazy cat, and once Cas reaches his legs, he almost expects him to purr. Instead, Dean turns around completely, and Cas makes his way back up until he right out scratches Dean’s back, only skipping the one spot with the band-aid. Dean rolls over again with a sigh, and a small smile found its way onto his face.

Cas can only think of him as utterly adorable, and he leans in and comes as close to Dean as possible. “Dean?”

“Hmm?” Dean hums, and Cas is sure he knows how close they are.

“I want to kiss you if that’s alright with you.”

“Mmhmm.” Dean accompanies his sounds of content with grabbing Cas by the shirt and pulling him in. 

Only now it becomes clear to Cas how lost he feels. Working as a roadie and in the band is fun, but being a doctor has been his whole life. Cas uprooted himself when he left the hospital and drifted aimlessly through the chaos of a new life, not even sure if he’s happy or not, but now that he kisses Dean again, it’s like coming home.

While being with Dean feels familiar, it’s nothing like their first time in the tent. Maybe it’s because they’re both tired, or they think that they’re not in a rush anymore, but they take their sweet time enjoying to be so close. It’s all about lazy kisses and soft touches, the feeling of warm skin, breathing in a familiar scent, and murmuring endearments in low voices. 

They forget about time and end up as a tangled mess. Cas is struck with such awe at what’s happening with them that he even fears to move when he’s inside Dean again, concerned he might break some sort of spell, but then he gets lost in Dean’s kisses and touches, and his world becomes entirely too beautiful to be worried.

In the end, Dean snuggles up to Cas with such a deep sigh that it seems to come from the core of his body. “I like you. That’s what I meant to say.”

“I like you, too,” Cas says, not sure if Dean even heard it before falling asleep, but it doesn’t matter. This is just the beginning of their journey. They have time.


	9. Chapter 9

Dean is in the kitchen, preparing things for breakfast, when he hears Cas waking up. With him, it’s not one single moment but more like a process. It involves grunting, turning, sighing, and in front of his inner eye Dean can see how Cas would bury his face in a pillow and roll himself up in the blanket like a burrito. If he was on his own he’d probably stay like this for another hour or two, but he told Dean it’s no fun alone.

That’s why Dean can hear Cas standing up a few minutes later. It takes a little time as well. First he has to sit on the bed, rub his eyes, and dishevel his hair even more. Then he blinks a lot to get used to the light before getting up and searching for clothes. Finally, there are footsteps, and it’s audible how Cas drags his feet.

He pads into the kitchen, making a beeline for Dean and puts his arms around Dean’s waist. “Too early. Why you up?”

“8 am is not that early,” Dean says. “And I’m making breakfast. Aren’t you hungry?”

“I could have eaten you for breakfast,” Cas growls next to Dean’s ear before burying his face in Dean’s neck.

Dean tries to ignore the growing warmth in his stomach and does his best to continue with his preparations, but instead of letting go, Cas nibbles on his skin and Dean shudders. “Stop it, you’re supposed to learn how to make pancakes, remember?”

“Yours are so good, I can never come close,” Cas says and his grip tightens around Dean. “And I still want to eat something else.” Cas presses his whole body against Dean now, a pretty distinct bulge rubbing against Dean’s ass, and Cas’ hands find their way under Dean’s shirt.

“Cas,” Dean sighs, hating that he has to be the responsible one for once, “when I offered you my home I meant for you to sleep at my place, not with me.”

“That is not. What you said. The last. Three months,” Cas says in between kisses to Dean’s neck.

Dean can’t help but lean back into Cas and enjoy being caressed like this. It’s been way too long he had something like it before Cas came back into his life. Even after the past three months, he still can’t get enough of the closeness, promising himself not to take it for granted now that he knows how much he needs it and how lost he actually felt without it.

Still, it’s hard to concentrate on cooking if you have about 170 pounds of temptation wrapped around you. Even more so when Cas’ hands wander again and sneak into Dean’s boxers. He should have put on way more protective layers. “I guess we won’t cook.” Cas shamelessly ruts against him and bites his shoulder, so Dean gives up and turns around. “Why the hell are you so horny?”

“Dreamed about you,” Cas murmurs and uses Dean’s new position to attack Dean’s neck from the front.

“Did I wear the firefighter uniform?” Dean jokes and Cas sighs.

“You never going to let me live this down, are you?”

Dean smiles, “Never.” Now that he gave up on the cooking, he might as well go all in. He draws Cas even closer and kisses him, their bodies pressed together, and this time it’s Dean’s hands that wander. He caresses Cas’ chest before grabbing his shirt and lifting it up to pull it over Cas’ head. Cas repays him in kind and it feels even better when their naked chests touch.

Cas’ fingernails scratch over Dean’s back, now free from any wounds, and Dean moans against Cas’ lips when their cocks rub against each other through the fabric of their underwear. “Maybe we should take this to the bedroom,” Cas suggests, but Dean shakes his head.

“I’m not leaving this kitchen until we have breakfast.”

Cas wants to protest, but Dean grabs Cas’ boxers and pulls them down before doing the same with his own. His fingers run down Cas’ stomach, following his treasure trail, and down to Cas’ balls to tease him. Cas leans his head on Dean’s shoulder and bites his lips and Dean presses his palm against Cas’ cock and just leaves it there until Cas desperately rubs against it. “Dean,” he grunts, his voice demanding.

“What?” Dean asks, knowing exactly what Cas wants, but it’s much more fun to hear it from him.

“I need more,” Cas huffs and he bites Dean’s ear lobe, just at the edge of it being too painful. 

Dean moves his hand slightly, but just enough to keep Cas on edge. “More what? Do you want me to lick your balls? Suck your dick? Drink your come? You have to be more specific.”

Cas’ answer is a growl, and while he usually has more patience and likes to be teased by Dean, he’s not in the mood for that today. He reaches down between them, but instead of touching Dean, he grabs both their cocks and brings them together as best as he can. Dean feels like the heat of skin on skin might burn him up and Cas doesn’t give him much time to adjust. 

Cas’ hand moves up and down with long strokes and Dean holds on to his neck and they kiss again, more sloppy and open mouthed than before. Once in a while they break apart to get more air and it gets harder to kiss at all with both of them moaning when Cas quickens the pace. 

They won’t be able to keep this up much longer without lube before the friction is too much, but Dean has a feeling he might not need that long. Cas’ hand becomes more frantic, but he never loses his rhythm. Dean knows they’re on the finish line when his phone suddenly rings and out of habit he reaches for it, but Cas catches his hand and pins it down against the counter.

Dean thought that the phone would annoy him, but the thought that somebody is trying to reach him while he’s doing kinky shit with Cas is even more of a turn on, almost like somebody's watching them. “I’m so close,” Dean whines, desperate for release.

Cas comes close to his ear and whispers, “Come for me, Dean.”

It’s not fair that this works on Dean the way it does, every single time. Cas’ commanding voice sends him right over the edge. His fingers dig into Cas’ shoulders when he comes and Cas slows down so he doesn’t overwhelm him. Dean takes a moment to come down from his high before he pushes Cas against the counter behind him and gets down on his knees.

“Dean, you don’t have to-” Cas starts, but a moan replaces his protest as soon as Dean takes him into his mouth. Cas might have a voice to die for, but Dean sure knows what to do with his tongue. In under a minute he has Cas holding on to the kitchen counter for dear life and soon Cas reaches down to bury his hand in Dean’s hair and hold him close while his hips stutter and he comes deep in Dean’s throat. Dean does his best to keep breathing while he swallows and after releasing Cas’ cock from his mouth he licks him clean and gets back up, rubbing his knees. “Whe should keep a pillow in here, for emergencies.”

Cas laughs in between a couple of deep breaths and puts a quick kiss on Dean’s mouth. “Guess you got your breakfast,” he deadpans and Dean rolls his eyes at him before finally reaching for his phone.

“Shit, it’s work.”

Cas grabs a few paper towel and cleans up their mess while Dean checks his messages. “Do you have to go in?”

“Yes,” Dean makes a face, “but it shouldn’t take long. We can continue this later.”

Cas raises a single eyebrow at him. “The cooking or-?”

“Both,” Dean says and kisses Cas again, "I promise. But now I have to run.”

Dean has a hard time focusing on work and Benny even jokes what he had for breakfast, but once they have to actually save some people, he manages to focus. He only thinks about Cas when they are back at the station and remembers to pack a little surprise for Cas. 

When he walks into the apartment, it’s dark and he shouts into the silence, “Honey, I’m home.”

“In here,” comes the response and Dean drops his bag and follows Cas’ voice to the kitchen. He stops dead in his tracks in the doorway when he sees what Cas has done. 

He prepared the small table with Dean’s best dishes, candles, and even cloth napkins. All over the table and around the chairs are red rose petals and music plays quietly in the background. “What the hell?” is the only thing Dean can say and Cas sets down a big plate in the middle of the table. 

“I made pancakes,” he says like that explains everything.

Dean looks at the plate and the sight alone makes his mouth water. “Those look fantastic.”

“Eileen showed me how to make them a week ago,” Cas says and Dean turns to him in surprise.

“But-”

“Yeah, you wanted to teach me today,” Cas interrupts him. “You only asked me after Eileen already showed me and I’ve been planning this ever since.”

Dean laughs when he thinks back to this morning. “And then you had to distract me with sex so I don’t ruin the surprise.”

“To be fair, I thought about the sex in any case, but it did make the distraction easier.”

Dean finally leaves his spot at the door and walks over to Cas to kiss him. “Thank you, that’s a great surprise.” He thought about doing this another time, but the moment is so perfect that he doesn’t want to wait. “I have a surprise, too.”

Cas watches him with suspense while Dean takes his keys out of his pocket. He takes one of them off the keychain and holds it out for Cas. “You always walk back and forth between here and Ash’s trailer, but you’re here most of the time anyway, so I thought you might want to stay permanently.”

“You are sure you want me to move in with you?”

Dean holds up a finger to signal Cas that he needs a minute and rushes to the living room. When he comes back, he hands Cas a picture frame. “I hid this the first time you came over because I was so embarrassed, but now I think I can put it back on the wall.”

Cas stares at it with big eyes, mouth open in wonder, and he needs a moment to get his composure back. “You kept this?”

“I thought it made a nice memory,” Dean says. He remembers how he woke up that morning at the festival and all that was left of Cas were the ticket with his message and the forget-me-nots. Dean brought them home and Eileen showed him how to preserve them.

“I’d love to move in with you,” Cas says with a smile and he takes the key from Dean like it’s the greatest gift he’s ever gotten in his life.

While they sit down to eat, he places the key and the frame in front of himself, his eyes always wandering back to it. It makes Dean wonder if it means as much to him as it means to Dean. He failed to say why he wanted Cas to live with him, phrasing it like it’s just practical, instead of admitting that Dean can’t imagine his life without Cas.

But for now he tries to enjoy the evening, and when they’re done eating he excuses himself to quickly prepare his other surprise. It only takes him a minute to change, after all, he’s used to it. Cas is busy clearing the table and almost drops the plates in his hands when he sees Dean. 

“Somebody called us,” Dean says, “it seems here’s a guy as hot as they come, and I need to get him out of here for everybody’s safety.”

Dean feels weird not wearing a shirt under the suspenders, and it’s idiotic to put on the helmet inside, but if he’s posing as a sexy firefighter, he might as well do it right.

Cas puts down the plates and walks around the table, his eyes never leaving Dean. “Bedroom, now.”

Dean can’t help but grin, happy that his idea seems to work out perfectly. “Calm down, buddy, I’m the authority figure here.”

Cas comes closer and after looking Dean up and down again, his eyes bore into Dean’s. “We will see about that.”


	10. Chapter 10

After fighting a house fire late into the night, Dean uses his morning to sleep in late. Cas is not in bed and left a note saying he’s with Gabriel and will be back in the afternoon. Dean nurses his second cup of coffee between his hands when there’s a sharp knock on the door.

Dean wishes he could ignore it, but it might be a neighbor who needs help, and he’d think about it the rest of the day if he doesn’t check. He leaves his coffee and opens the door. He doesn’t know the woman in front of him and wonders if she got the right apartment.

“Who are you?” she bluffs.

“The person who lives here,” Dean says, trying to stay polite. “Can I help you?”

“I’m looking for Castiel Novak.”

Dean can’t remember Cas mentioning someone like her. “And you are?”

“Dr. Meg Masters, we are colleagues,” she says before scrunching up her nose. “Well, former colleagues, but we’ll see about that. Is he here?”

“I’m not sure when he’ll be back. Can I take a message?”

“So he does live here?” Meg says, triumph in her voice. 

Dean regrets that he even gave her this tiny bit of information. After all, he doesn’t know who this person is, and the way she acts doesn’t exactly make her likable. “Can I ask what this is about?”

Meg runs her eyes up and down on him like she’s measuring if he’s worth her time. “This is about Castiel just running out of the hospital three years ago and never coming back. I’m here to get my colleague back.”

“Hospital?” Dean only focuses on the one word, not quite sure what he should make of her calling Cas a colleague. “Was he sick?”

“You’re a bit slow on the uptake, aren’t you?” Meg snarls and speaks the following words extra slow, “I’m a doctor. Cas is a doctor. We worked together.”

Logically, her words make perfect sense, and Dean has to admit that he doesn’t know much about Cas’ past, but a doctor? Thinking about the Cas he knows, it doesn’t add up. “But why would he leave?”

“Because he’s an idiot. But sulking time is over. I’ll drag him back, no matter what,” Meg says, and Dean believes her. She gives him another probing look before handing him a card with the name of the hospital and her number. “You tell him that. And there’s no point in running. I’ll find him anyway.”

She turns on the spot and leaves, and Dean is still looking after her when she turns the corner, his brain trying to tackle the new information. It takes a few minutes before he walks back inside and he sits down again, lifting his cup but never drinking from it.

When Cas comes home a few hours later, Dean moved over to the couch and switched from coffee to beer, but his mind is still caught in the same loop. He can’t make sense of it. Cas walks over and gives him a kiss on the cheek before moving into the kitchen.

“How was your day?” he asks, and Dean follows him and leans at the kitchen door while Cas gets a beer out of the fridge.

“I had a strange visitor,” Dean says.

“Why strange?”

Cas takes a sip from the bottle, and Dean watches him like a hawk. “She said her name was Dr. Meg Masters.”

Cas pauses, probably because he’d choke otherwise, and when he puts down the bottle, a shadow falls over his face. “What else did she say?”

Dean somehow hoped that this Meg person didn’t know what she was talking about, but the way Cas acts makes it clear that she told the truth. “She kept calling you her colleague. You worked at the same hospital? I’m trying to figure out how.”

“That’s in the past, Dean.” 

Cas sounds defeated, and Dean wishes he could let it go, but it eats him up that there’s still so much he doesn’t know about Cas. What kind of couple are they that Dean doesn’t even know what Cas was up to three years ago. “You know I always respected that you didn’t want to talk about certain things, and I’m not trying to push you now, but I don’t like strange women coming to my house and telling me what to do,” Dean grunts, but then his tone gets soft, “and I just thought we might have reached a point where you trusted me enough to tell me these things.”

He wants to leave, understanding just now how much Cas’ secrecy bothers him, but Cas holds him back. “Meg and I worked at the same hospital for five years. I didn’t tell you because I don’t work as a doctor anymore.”

Dean stares at Cas. It sounds even weirder coming from his mouth. “So you are a doctor? As in, cutting people open, saving lives kind of doctor?”

“Cutting them open, yes. Don’t know about the saving.” Cas laughs, but there’s no humor in it. “But that’s over now.”

“But why would you just stop? Don’t tell me it was your dream to become a roadie.”

Cas furrows his brows, and his mouth becomes a thin line. Dean has never seen him like that. He seems angry, almost dangerous, and it doesn’t help that he raises his voice to spit out the next words, “If you must know, I almost killed somebody. And I didn’t tell you because I’m ashamed. You might not like what I’m doing now, but at least nobody has to die at my hands.”

Dean wants to say something, but Cas cuts him off with a sharp gesture. “I’m done talking about this.” He storms past Dean and leaves, slamming the door with so much force that Dean jumps from the noise.

He watches the beer bottle Cas left behind, and his hand reaches for the card in his pocket. Dean’s not sure what he might gain from this, but he gets his phone and dials the number on it, waiting for Meg to pick up.

It’s already dark when Cas comes back. He sits down on the couch next to Dean, and they both stare at the TV where Dr. Sexy makes out with an unimportant side character.

“I’m sorry,” Cas says. “I wasn’t prepared for the past to catch up with me. And I know I should have told you, but I’m not proud of what happened.”

Dean shuts down the TV and turns to Cas. “It’s alright. And we can talk about it whenever you want. Just let me know what to tell this Meg person.”

“I’m going to talk to her, she can be a pain,” Cas says. “And I- I want to talk now.”

Cas turns to Dean and props up his legs, looking more like a scared schoolboy than anything else, let alone a doctor. “I was a surgeon, and one day I messed up during an operation. It was just a tiny cut but in a particularly bad spot. There was so much blood, and I lost my head until Meg snapped me out of it. We got it under control, but after that, I thought it best to stop.”

“Everybody makes mistakes,” Dean offers, but Cas gives him a death stare.

“But not everybody kills people when they do.”

“But you said ‘almost,’” Dean insists, “so the patient didn’t die.”

For a second Cas looks like he's about to blow up again, but then he just sighs. “He lived, yes. But his recovery took way longer thanks to me. I liked working at the hospital, but word goes around. I knew I had to see Meg and everybody else every day after that, my bosses had a meeting about the operation, and each day there would be more patients who could suffer because of me. I just needed to take a step back.”

“I see,” Dean says, and suddenly he huffs a laugh and grabs Cas’ hands. “I’m pretty dense, aren’t I?”

“What? Why?”

“I actually thought about your hands when you gave me the massage; how they seem to be used to delicate work. And then you patched up that cut,” Dean slaps one hand against his forehead with a grown before putting it on Cas’ chest over his tattoo there. “And you just like snakes. God, I’m stupid. Even the whole faith thing and ‘memento mori’ make way more sense now.”

Cas takes Dean’s hand between his. “You’re not stupid. I have to apologize for lying to you. I just wasn’t ready to talk about my past. And nobody else knows. I never told the guys from the band either. I guess I thought I could run away from it all.”

“Meg won’t let you run,” Dean says. “She told me that much.”

“I’ll deal with her, I promise. Just not tonight.”

Cas looks more tired than Dean has ever seen him, even after long nights with the band, so he grabs his shoulders and drags him closer. “Come on, let’s just watch for a bit and you can fall asleep on top of me.”

He starts the next episode and Cas gets comfortable leaning against him. Dean runs his fingers through Cas’ hair, and when the title screen flashes on the TV, he chuckles. “So technically, I have my own Dr. Sexy now.”

“Ex-doctor,” Cas slurs in a low voice, his eyes already closed. 

Dean doesn’t argue with him, but in his mind, a plan is forming. Maybe there is something he can do about the ‘ex’ part.

Dean is buzzing with excitement the next day. He spent all morning to put his plan from last night into action, and now he’s ready to present the fruit from his labor to Cas.

It’s only early afternoon, but Dean cooked for Cas and prepared the table for a nice meal so they could celebrate right away. Right when he checks if everything is in place, the apartment door opens and Cas comes in. He stops dead in his tracks when he sees the table. “What’s going on?”

Dean hurries over to him and gives him a kiss before leading him to the table. “This is to celebrate the surprise that I have for you.”

“You didn’t have-” Cas begins, but Dean interrupts him to hand him the piece of paper that will change his life.

“Just read!”

Cas takes the paper and unfolds it. Dean watches him closely while he reads, waiting for the smile and excitement to come, but Cas’ face grows darker and darker instead. “What did you do?”

“Asked for you to get your old job back,” Dean announces. “And you don’t have to worry about your colleagues. Those old farts made more mistakes than anybody can count and you already know that Meg wants you to come back. She sounded happy when I told her.”

“You what? When did you talk to Meg?” Cas inquires, and his voice has this tone of underlying anger again.

“Yesterday, and then again today,” Dean explains. “I just wanted to get the facts straight. By the way, she said that lots of doctors make mistakes way worse than yours and that it’s not a big deal. But you can talk to her about that next week. Unless you want to start later. They said it’s your decision.”

“Oh, is it?” Cas grunts. He gets up from his chair and throws the letter from the hospital carelessly onto the table. “I feel like you’re suddenly in the business to make my decisions for me.”

“What? No, I just thought you might start right away,” Dean says. “You can be a doctor again.”

Dean outright beams at Cas, still waiting for him to catch on and be happy to have his old job back. Instead, Cas looks anything but happy. “Dean, I never wanted to be a doctor to begin with. My mother set me on the path and when I found myself in med school, I thought I might as well do it.”

“But you said you liked it,” Dean says, now completely confused.

“So? That doesn’t mean it’s my dream. And for me, almost killing somebody is a big deal.”

“I get that,” Dean says, “but you saved lives. You could do so again, make a real difference. It’s important work.”

Dean is trying his hardest to explain to Cas why he thought he’d be doing him a favor, but it seems he’s digging himself deeper and deeper into a hole. Cas’ face falls; he’s not angry anymore but disappointed. “I see,” he says, his voice sad, almost like he’s choking on tears, “I should have known yesterday.”

“Known what? Cas, I’m trying to-”

Cas cuts Dean off, walking over to the door. “I’m working with the band, and I might work as a roadie again. I like bringing joy to people that way. That might not be important enough for you, but it is for me. I thought that you saw me the way I am, but maybe not.” Cas stretches out his arms like he’s presenting himself to Dean. “This is me, I’ll never be more than that. I’m sorry it’s not enough.”

He leaves, and Dean is too shocked to even move. He tried to do something nice for Cas, and instead, he drove him away. Dean stares down at the table, and when the realization hits what just happened, he swipes off everything that’s in reach. The letter from the hospital gets drowned in wine, mocking Dean in scarlet red, and he only now understands Cas’ story. Dean made one tiny cut without meaning to, and with it, he killed what he and Cas had.


	11. Chapter 11

Cas comes to the festival hoping he can forget about Dean. He should have known that it’s a bad idea.

They planned to come here together this year, and everything either reminds Cas of their first night or makes him think about what they could experience together right now.

It’s the first evening, and Cas stands in the middle of the crowd feeling utterly lost. Everybody around him is happy and excited, and he doesn’t even know what band is about to play. He turns around, trying to make his way to one of the carts. He might as well get wasted right away since he won’t be able to enjoy the music.

When Cas gets in line behind some extremely chatty girls, the background music from the stage cuts off and is replaced with static and a series of dull sounds when somebody taps the mic. “Hi, I’m- well, I guess you don’t give a shit who I am.”

Cas spins around so fast that he almost hurts himself. He knows that voice. He shoves some broad guy out of the way and doesn’t care about the rude comments he gets when he pushes past more people to get a clear look at the stage.

“I’m up here because I hurt somebody that I care about a lot,” the voice continues. “I want you to know that you are enough. More than enough. I’m actually still not sure that I deserve you.”

Cas freezes on the spot when he finally sees Dean. He’s alone on the stage, looking lost with the microphone in front of him and his guitar hanging from his shoulders. “I hope that you can forgive me and that we’ll meet again where I first saw you,” Dean says, taking a long pause before making a face. “And my apologies to everybody else for what I’m about to do.”

He starts playing and it takes a while before people quiet down enough so that the melody can be heard. Then Dean takes a shaky breath and sings. He’s not too horrible, but you can tell that he’s not a singer.

Cas remembers how they sat on that stage together, Dean telling him that he can’t sing. Since they’ve been together Cas sometimes asked him if he could play in the band or help out with vocals, but Dean always refused, stating clearly that he’d never do that, no matter what. And now he’s playing and singing on his own in front of thousands of people just to apologize to Cas.

_Oh, I hold you for a million years  
To make you feel my love_

What feels like a little flame bursts to life in Cas’ chest. It grows with every word Dean sings and every little detail Cas can glean from here. Dean is wearing Cas’ TTD shirt, and sometimes he looks up to his hand to make sure his grip is right for the chord. Cas knows how much Dean hates that he’s still doing that despite knowing the song by hard.

_No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do_   
_To make you feel my love_

Only now it hits Cas what Dean is saying. This song is special for them, like a reoccuring theme, but Cas never felt the words so profoundly before. And this time, it’s not another voice, it’s Dean who says the words, and he’s saying them to Cas.

The flame in Cas’ chest grows , and he wishes he could run up to the stage to Dean and share the feeling with him. Instead, he reaches into his pocket to take out a lighter. Dean gave it to him for the festival, joking that he should be careful not to burn down his tent after all. Cas lights it and holds it up as high as he can reach.

Just seconds later some people next to him do the same, and while Dean is completely caught up in playing, a see of light appears. People without a lighter hold up glow sticks or their phones and when Dean looks up again, the music goes off track until he’s able to recover.

The support doesn’t go unnoticed though. When Dean starts singing again, he sounds way more confident, and Cas can hear a few women in front of him sing along. Although Cas isn’t much of a singer either, he does the same. Just like with the lights more people join in, and a choir of people carries Dean’s words to Cas.

_I could make you happy, make your dreams come true,_   
_There's nothing that I wouldn't do,_   
_Go to the ends of the Earth for you..._

With the lights around him and the voices in the air, Cas’ vision blurs, and he’s trying hard not to tear up. He closes his eyes and concentrates on Dean’s voice. Everything else fades away.

_To make you feel my love, oh yes,_   
_To make you feel my love_

Cas keeps his eyes closed, even when the last note is gone, and Dean finishes with a shy “Thank you” before another voice takes over.

“If you’re out there, take this man back. I think he deserves it, right guys?”

The crowd erupts with clapping, screaming and whistling, and when Cas opens his eyes, he can see the lead singer from TTD with his arm around Dean who looks like he wants to drop dead right this second. They exchange a few words before Dean waves at the crowd and disappears from the stage.

 

Cas fights his way through the people around him and rushes to the camping grounds, trying his best to remember where his tent was. When he feels like he’s close to the right spot, he leans against a tree and looks around for Dean. There are not many people here since they’re attending the concerts and after a few minutes, Dean walks right past the tree.

Cas suppresses the urge to just grab and kiss him and goes for a standard greeting instead, “Hello, Dean.”

Dean spins around, and his face lights up. “You’re here.”

“Yeah, ‘when the evening shadows and the stars appear,’ right?” Cas quotes the song.

Dean keeps staring at him like he can’t believe it, but then his face falls. “Look, I’m sorry. I honestly thought that I’m doing you a favor. I’ve never judged you based on your job, and I’d support you no matter what you do.”

Cas nods. “I know, and I’m sorry, too. You just struck a nerve, and I overreacted.”

“So,” Dean takes a careful step closer to Cas, “we’re good?”

“Answer me one question,” Cas says.

“Sure.”

Cas watches Dean closely. “Did you mean it? The song?”

“I've known it from the moment that we met, no doubt in my mind where you belong,” Dean quotes the song. “Meg told me that I was a little slow, and she’s right. I’m completely dense, and I never know how to say things like that, but-” Dean looks down at his shoes and runs a hand over his neck, but then he forces himself to look at Cas. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Cas says and walks over to Dean. He carefully moves Dean’s guitar to his back so he can kiss him with nothing separating them. Even after the kiss, they stay close with their foreheads touching. It takes them back to their first night. The music waves over to them from the stage, the evening air gets colder, and with the daylight fading, more lights appear around the tents.

Dean runs his hand over Cas’ ‘faith’ tattoo and starts playing with the access bracelet on Cas’ wrist. “So, what do we do now?” he asks.

Cas tips his head back to see Dean, a storm in his eyes. “My tent is bigger than yours.”

 


End file.
